Sloppy Seconds
by phlesh
Summary: Karma and Amy both struggle with balancing love and friendship, while trying to figure out what is the best for them. Loosely following season one and two.
1. Ripples

**I'm currently working on another story, but I needed to do something with Karmy before it kills me. Review your thoughts!**

* * *

At first, when they met, Amy thought it was fate. It was destiny. It was the best-fluke in the lineup of universal coincidences that had been laid out for her yet.  
Of course, she was four, and it was preschool, so she didn't understand these concepts. But- when she was fifteen, and she thought about it, she thought it was the epitome of awsomeness.

At the end, she thought it was the biggest accident that she ever had the misfortune of being a part of. She and Karma weren't _meant_ to be friends. They were too inherently different; and while she used to think this was amazing, and this was what gave them the ability to be so close- be such a "power couple", she had started to come to the conclusion that it just made them a destructive mess. For the both of them.

In the middle, she couldn't decide.

It was on a Thursday afternoon when the first real ripple of trouble came stirring it's way towards Karmy. Amy had a name for this ripple. In the essence of Hurricane Katrina or Typhoon Nina; she liked to call it: _Ripple Booker._

For a long time, it made her shudder.

"Look at him!" Karma hissed, shaking Amy's arm, pointing far off into the distance. She squinted in the general direction her friend's finger guided, but she didn't spot him right away.

"Which one?" She inquired, raising a hand up to block the sun. Karma was boy-spotting. It had become a common occurrence in the last few years- most predominantly, in the months leading up to this point.

"Brown hair, jawline of a Greek God, delicious looking lips," Karma instructed; Amy grimaced.

"Weird."

"Oh," Karma scoffed, "Shut up. Do you see him yet?"

"I think so," She had spotted a potential suspect, hanging around with Shane Harvey; the local popular gay. And if she was talking about who Amy thought she was talking about, alarm bells started sounding in her skull. "With Shane Harvey?"

Karma nodded confirmation.

Amy dropped her hand and straightened up, sternly crossing her arms over her chest, "Liam _Booker?_ "

Blushing, Karma nodded with the enthusiasm of a kid straight from the candy store, "He's _so_ cute."

"So?" Amy stuck her tongue out, "He's slept with like... _everyone_. He's a Grade A douche."

"We don't know that," Karma said defensively, throwing another look his way.

It was classic Karma behaviour. Seriously; Amy could have written a textbook on reading the other girl's reactions and anticipating the next move. For example; Karma needed constant validation about her importance and her existence. Pining after Liam Booker would at least put her on the radar, and, if she managed to snag him, it would be like being on the cover of TMZ. A _big deal_. Karma had always been desperate for the spotlight. Even in third grade, when she'd thrown a tantrum about not being Mrs. Clause in the Christmas play.  
Unfortunately, Amy all too well that this wouldn't be an unsurprising move for her best friend.

"But we also don't know if he _isn't_ a douche. The signs point to _yes,_ "

Karma sighed, deflating slightly. Amy reached out and rubbed her back, humouring her, "There, there, Karms. We'll find you a boy eventually."

And there it was. The _Ripple Booker._ Amy hadn't thought much more of it. But things happened a little too fast for her liking since that point; suddenly, they were lesbians, and suddenly, it was all for Booker, and suddenly, Amy was flailing like a fish out of water.

Emotionally, that is.

She'd never been a "move fast" kind of person. Amy liked slow and sure, she liked to feel things out before she did them; and the idea of being impulsive gave her mild to moderate anxiety. She was finicky. She was focused on everything that could go wrong; in every situation, her concerns would lie with how she (or those she was around; specifically Karma) could get seriously injured. Her first encounter with this was when she was maybe in second grade, and her best friend had the idea to go sledding, choosing just the exact hill behind her house where it was a bit too close to the road for Amy's comfort. At first, Karma had tried coaxing her up from the top of the hill, but Amy had stubbornly stayed rooted at the bottom, insisting that she would be there to catch Karma if she started getting too close to the street. Her friend eventually gave up, and they agreed to that sentiment for a few rides down the hill. Amy wasn't having much fun. After a while, Karma noticed that; and she offered to do the same for Amy while she took her turns on the hill. She was sceptical of Karma's reliability, but, conceded to the idea after a short reluctance.

Luckily, Karma caught her every time.

* * *

In the grand scheme of it, Karma knew it was the fault of a lot of people. Including herself. But, first and foremost, she blamed Shane; although, she knew, at the bottom of it all; it would have happened anyway. But he just sped up the process. The catalyst, so to speak.

The _Shane moment_ lived in infamy; not just in the hearts and minds of Hester High, but for the course of, probably, the rest of Karma's life. And all because he was craving some _lesbian energy._ He outed them without doing his research- but, this is where it gets rich.

"Maybe we should just... go with it?" Karma suggested later on, when the two of them were away from the crowd. A crease formed between her best friend's brow, and her mouth opened slightly. "But... why?"

Karma shrugged- as if she _didn't_ know what compelled her to want to " _just go with it_ ". When in reality, this unclear pool of a situation was slowly starting to calm, and she was starting to see the picture under the surface.

"Well, he nominated us for prom queens. That would be pretty cool." _Pretty cool?_ They'd be, like, the hottest news since Brangelina. Except lesbians. And, hopefully, they weren't expected to adopt kids any time soon.

The blonde didn't seem so convinced.

"Yeah, but," Amy sighed, "Karma, we aren't lesbians. That's just ridiculous."

She had a point. But it was a small point. It was an easily _breakable_ point. "So?" She counters, coyly sneaking one hand into Amy's, "Nobody knows that but us,"

"And when they expect us to kiss?" Amy raises a brow, but didn't drop their hands. Karma scoffed, "Easy. People fake that for movies all the time,"  
She may just have to go home and Google techniques to pass off a believable fake-kiss in public. But she'd worry about that after.

"I dunno," Amy mumbles, looking over her shoulder, back at Shane's house down the street. Karma could practically see the gears turning in the blonde's head, weighing the pro's and con's. She was really a _thinker_ ; she'd always been. Thinker, planner, back-up planner, and analyser. Karma always told her she should get a job for the CIA, or FBI, or something. This would be met with a playful jab in the arm.  
But, that's why they worked so well together. Karma was an action girl. She went with her gut feeling first, and thought about it later. They balanced each other out.

After a few long pauses passed without an answer, with Amy still looking at the house, at the ground- Karma leaned forward and pecked her on the cheek. Amy snapped her head upwards in surprise, and Karma shrugged, beaming, "See? How hard was that?"

With her free hand, Amy pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing again, "You really want to be girlfriends?"

"I really think we should try being girlfriends,"

Amy dropped her hand and shrugged, "Sure, okay," She says, clearly pressing to be a little bit chipper, for Karma's sake. Karma doesn't even care if it's pressed; it didn't have to be a _long_ ruse. And she knew she could count on Amy to give it a go. She could see it in the way Amy's eyes glowed, despite the unimpressed twist of her mouth.

"Thank you!" Karma squealed, throwing her arms around her best friend in a tight hug. She felt it in her gut; this was when things would start to change for them. They wouldn't be invisible anymore. And- both of them- she knew, deserved better than that.

And, boy, did she ever call it.

* * *

Karma found herself in a hospital bed eight- or was it nine- _ten?_ \- months later. Her bones felt like they were ready crack if she moved- but she was heavy from the pain killers. Lifting her head felt like an immense effort. Her memories- specifically of the night- or was it already _nights?_ \- before were fragmented, like the pieces of a puzzle, and she was trying to piece together how it happened.  
On her arm, she could make out all of the stitches- there would be a large, ugly scar wear the doctor had to pull out all of the bone chips to always remind her. Maybe, she supposed, she was pressing on the gas just a bit hard, right when the road turned a bit sharp.  
And when she woke up somebody was unclipping her seatbelt and pulling her from the window of her flipped car.

That, was on replay. She was partially grateful that she was so medicated that she couldn't quite comprehend what it all meant- or to focus too hard on anything that happened before that. Yet, she was all too aware that that blissful ignorance couldn't last- and she dreaded when she had to face her parents completely sober.  
They'd kill her.


	2. Afterthought

**The first half of this story will be heavily based from Amy's point of view, but towards the second half, we'll be seeing more from Karma's side. Review, let me know what you think!  
**

* * *

Warmth.

A warm bed, an empty glass of water, a television with the volume on mute, the colours reflecting softly against the room, and a sleeping Karma. Sleeping like a baby. She's even _snoring_ a little. They'd gone home and Karma, unworried, was able to fall asleep without a care in the world.

But Amy's head was on a continuous loop. Most prominently, a constant reminder (or more like a gut feeling) that this would be the last night that they would be able to just live their every day lives as " _Karma and Amy_ ". Tomorrow, all eyes would be on them. They'd be Karma and Amy, _the couple._  
They were lucky enough Lauren was asleep by the time they got home; because surely, she had been plugged in by now.

She wasn't sure why she agreed to it. Faking being _girlfriends?_ It might have just been the single most unbelievable thing Karma has ever dragged her into. And that was saying a lot.  
But, maybe even more terrifyingly, this would mean that she and Karma would, eventually, _kiss_. There was no getting around it. Seeing as they were so close, and they were only faking it, Amy knew she shouldn't be so freaked about it. It was only a kiss. She'd done it before, and with people way worse than Karma.

Even though she still regrettably agreed to it.

She supposed it could be worse.

(But that was about as equal as saying it could only _get_ worse).

* * *

And it did, it got _so_ worse.

In the way Lauren glared at her over breakfasts, before school, the snide remarks, the " _I know what you're doing_ "'s and the way it all made Amy's skin crawl. And she, would have to defend it all, although her evil step-sister was _definitely_ right and she was _definitely_ onto them. And she had always been a terrible liar, and so it felt like there was a bomb strapped to her chest and she knew this one would be truly explosive when it finally went off.

And while their ruse seemed to be fooling the majority of people, and it came with so much couple swag that, while Karma was thrilled, Amy felt a bit sick knowing that it could, as she said, all blow up in her face at any given moment. They got fans, they got a ship-name, they were nominated for prom queens, and had people at their disposal to help them win it. Even without asking; people made signs, and posts on Twitter.

In the way Karma would crawl over to her while they sat, front and centre in the courtyard, and Amy's heart would jump to beating an extra ten miles per hour, as she watched her best friend's lips and wonder _when_ they would actually kiss. Seal the fake deal.

Sure, they'd kiss on the cheek, or Karma (after Googling researching a convincing way to do it) would kiss her right on the corner of the mouth, and lift another hand up to cup the opposite cheek so no one would notice that they weren't actually doing it. But every time, Amy wondered when the other girl would be bold enough to, so to speak, sneak attack a real one (Because no, she didn't put it past her).  
However, something else became rather clear; Karma, was in fact, not only pulling a _Karma stunt_ \- which was _already_ taking it to a new level- but she somehow managed to break the scale of things _Karma_ would do.  
And that was; fake being lesbians to get attention? Check.  
To put her on the radar? Check.  
To use this new status to get into the Liam Booker atmosphere? She didn't want to believe it, but, she couldn't deny it. Check.  
And Amy couldn't tell why this made her so mad.

"You're using me," She said one afternoon, very quietly, as Karma was gathering the things from her locker.

Karma paused, a hand in the air, "What, sorry?"

"You're using me," She repeated, a bit more firmly, but just as quietly. She didn't want to accuse Karma of anything; and that was because she had a hunch that even Karma didn't realize what she was doing. It was only about a week into their act, and she didn't know what else could happen.

A crease formed between Karma's brow, and she slowly dropped her hand, turning to face her friend. Her face betrayed an amount of hurt that Amy didn't expect, "Why do you think that?"

Rubbing her eyes, Amy sighed, "You... you're interested in Liam, you just wanted to be lesbians so that you could get on the radar."

Karma cracked an uncomfortable smile, eyes darting to her left, she had that look of question behind her eyes. "Well," She started slowly, obviously taken aback, "Sure, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't doing it to be popular? Why do you think we're doing this? For the fun of it? Amy, you know that's... that's why..."

And she did. She couldn't deny that, either. She knew- right off of the get-go. Karma wanted to be popular, maybe more than anything else (She was going to fake going blind, for God sake's). This was the ultimate popularity scheme. And Amy could live with that; really, she could. What hurt was that it was to be noticed by a _boy_ , by Liam Booker.

(Enter; the Booker Wave?). She wasn't sure why she was so offended by it, but, it aggravated her.

Amy nodded vigorously, coming to her senses, "Right. I know..."

Karma may have been clueless sometimes, but, she seemed to have noticed the unusual change in behaviour. Just barely. Amy could just see the ghost of a wonder cross her features, before shifting into a softer, amused "girlfriend".

"Oh honey," She simpered sweetly, grabbing ahold of one of Amy's hands. The moment they touched, she felt some of the anger she felt pour out of her. But she couldn't help but contemplate the push-bend scenario of their friendship, "Don't be jealous,"

At this, she felt the blood rise to her cheeks; that wasn't how she meant to come across. Ducking her head, she tried to cover her tracks, "No, it's not that,"

Lips touched her cheek and felt the blush only deepen, the warmth reaching her ears. Karma laughed lightly, and Amy had to take a moment to compose herself. Being called out about her blush was the last thing she wanted.

When she looked up and saw Lauren glaring at her across the hallway, she realized there could be worse things. And this was one of those things.

The other blonde sneered, crossed her arms over her chest, and stormed off; minions trailing behind her. It hadn't quite got old yet; even after a week. Although every time either of them noticed her scowling, Karma would shrug and inquire, reasonably, "What's her problem?" and, generally, shake it off.  
It was a bit different for Amy; Lauren lived in her house, with her mother; her _conservative_ , perfectionist mother. It was one thing she hadn't considered when she agreed, that Lauren going to school and finding out could somehow put her at risk of having this fake secret revealed to her mother, because, well, Lauren was the definition of evil step-sister. And since then, Amy felt like she was walking on eggshells.

* * *

"I know what you're doing," Lauren said venomously, not twenty-four hours later. They stood in the kitchen, Amy's hands in the sink, fingers immediately gripping the bowl she was washing more tensely. The other blonde stood near the fridge, glowering at Amy as if she was personally responsible for the ISIS bombings.

"What?" She tried to feign surprise, but the way her voice rose an octave in worry gave her away.

"You're faking it!" The tiny blonde hissed, the fists clenched at her sides, and Amy was glad her hands were submerged; because hers did the same. It was the moment she had been dreading; fight or flight? Lauren was _totally_ right; she'd been caught, foiled, their charade had been seen through. If she agreed? What would Lauren do?

Expose them, surely. Because that was the kind of person she was.

But Amy didn't want that.

Not just for Karma; but it would be her reputation, too. And- it had only been a week? They were in it now. She may be anticipating the day (hopefully soon) that they "break it off", so to speak. But it had to be done on their own terms.

"That's just rude," Amy mumbled, turning her attention back to the dishes. Being nonchalant was the key. Trying not to make it a big deal.

"Oh, please," Lauren spat, "Like I can't see through your guys' little game. It's like watching _Dumb and Dumber_ ,"

"That's also rude," Amy pointed out, giving her step-sister a measured look, "But which one of us is _Dumb_ and which of us is _Dumber_?"

Lauren rolled her eyes, "I'm not disclosing which one of you is _Dumber._ Yet,"

Amy held back the temptation to scoff (or to stick her head into the sink). The shorter girl continued, "But I'm onto you," She pointed an accusatory finger, before pulling a carton of almond milk from the fridge. When she left, Amy was able to let go of the breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

* * *

She'd tried to warn Karma- tried to tell her about Lauren knowing about them faking it, but for some reason, it just wouldn't absorb.

"No, she doesn't, she only _thinks_ she knows, Amy," She'd dismissed, walking a few steps in front of her. Amy picked up her pace, "Yeah, but she's _right_ ,"

Karma halted so suddenly, that Amy almost plowed into her back. The red-head turned, grabbing both of her hands, running her thumb across her skin, "Don't worry," She urged, eyes darting to the right, and then to the left, and then a pressed smile. She was in a hurry. Amy was taking up time.

"Sorry," She mumbled an apology; although, she wasn't really sure why. She didn't want to keep Karma waiting around.

Karma let out a laugh, "Wha- don't apologize! Just... don't let it bother you, okay? Everything will be fine,"

She nodded along. Everything will be _fine_. Her toes curled in her shoes at the word. _Fine_.

"Okay," She knew she wouldn't take that advice; Amy the thinker, it was who she was. The idea of being exposed by Lauren would play over and over and she would analyse every possible outcome _over and over_ until the idea of it all was bloody and raw and, really, beaten the hell out of.

Karma squeezed her hands, before nudging her lightly on the shoulder, "Okay. Good. I need to go meet Liam to help him with his art project," Something within Amy's chest crumpled, "I'm his muse."

She hummed, biting her tongue to keep from making yet another snarky comment about him. She'd made countless, (really, she never missed an opportunity to take a shot at him) but they weren't really making the effect she wanted them to. For some reason, Karma thought the sun shone out of his butt- like he was best thing since Brad Pritt in Fight Club.

"I'll text you later," Her friend promised, but Amy knew that that wouldn't happen. She was terrible at texting. So she and Liam could go have their secret love affair; Amy would go home and have one of her own. With a box of doughnuts, and she'd try to resist looking at the sappy section on Netflix. (She'd been really into the tear-jerkers lately, for some reason).

But, also, for some reason, she was surprised how easy Karma could walk away and not even look back.

* * *

And, one Hester Assembly later, came the first wave. She wanted to call it the _Lauren Wave_ , but she knew that it would be more accurate to call it the Amy Wave. She was the one who did it, after all.

First, she and Karma sat together, hands on each other's knees, watching Lauren's speech for prom queen, listing off all of the ways she could make the school a better place. And, while Amy picked at her nails and observed the audience (for the most part; they were completely unmoved), she watched Karma throw flirty looks at Liam, a few rows away.  
After about the fifth time, Amy couldn't help but sigh, and elbow her friend lightly. Karma jumped, whipping her head around to look at her, an annoyance burning behind her eyes. " _What?_ " She whispered sharply, body already turning away from her.

Taken aback with the tone, Amy paused, hurt pricking her from the inside. "Careful with the heart eyes," She said slowly, "Someone might notice."

A shadow of something, some dawned realization that, " _Oh, I was being obvious?_ " crossed her face, and she quickly averted her eyes, looking forwards at Lauren, but Amy wondered if she was really even listening. God knew that _she_ wasn't.

"Thank you," Lauren concluded with faux sweetness, forcing a smile. Waking from their stupor, the audience politely began to clap, and Penelope took Lauren's place in front of the mic.

"And thank _you_ , Lauren," She started, also not appearing particularly enthused with the shorter blonde's agenda for school change, (Shocker; liberal Hester wasn't for conversatives), "Next up, we have Hester's very first lesbian candidates-"

Surprise coursed through my body; involuntarily, my hand squeezed around Karma's knee so tight that the redhead flinched, "Amy!" She hissed.

"Sorry!" Amy pried her hand from her rock, holding it against her chest.

"-Karma and Amy!"

At this, the crowd erupted; complete with the hoots, whistles, and bells. Glancing at Amy, Karma must have been able to see the look of terror on her face; public crowds? Not Amy's thing. Faking being a lesbian with her best friend? Not really Amy's thing. With no preparation, to do both at once? _Definitely_ not Amy's thing.

"Come on, we have a campaign to sell!" Karma beamed, extending her hand towards her best friend. After a moment's reluctance (stage fright), she placed her hand in Karma's, allowing the other girl to guide her to the stage, and, hopefully, she would do all the talking.

(But, honestly, was there ever a time where Karma didn't do all the talking?)

And the applause didn't stop, even as Karma grabbed the mic, ready to sell her stuff. _Sell it!_

"Hi," The redhead started, her cheeks flushed- Amy knew that this kind of fame was more than she could ever dream of. "As you all know..."

Amy allowed her mind to trail away, knowing full-well that Karma had the reigns and she wasn't going to let them go. But the crowd was soaking it up; it was almost... _pathetic_ how invested the student body was in them ever since they came out. It sure was easy to shepard the sheep once you had a step up.  
And then Amy found herself looking... right at Lauren. Who had clearly noticed the crowd-difference between her, and Karmy. Arms were crossed over her chest, and she was sending dagger-eyes right back in Amy's direction. Hastily, she averted her gaze; before Lauren turned her to stone, or something.

"-And of course, everyone's support-"

"For fuck sakes," Amy heard Lauren mutter offstage- right before she heard the feet stomping against the stage. Amy felt it, in her chest; the dropping, stomach lurching, sickness all of the sudden, as she barely had a chance to stop the girl before she was butting between them. The horror flashed against Karma's face- she was completely lost. And, it was safe to say that they both knew exactly what was about to happen.

Amy refrained from the impulse to mouth " _I told you so_ " from the other side of their prom queen rival.

"They're faking it!" Lauren shrilled into the mic, and Amy took in a sharp breath; hearing the crowd do the same. "They're _faking_ being lesbians!"

Penelope was rushing onto the stage, trying to usher the shorter blonde away from the microphone, "Faking it!" She shouted, one last time, "Everyone needs to know!"

Karma's eyes searched for her, pleading for help. The trainwreck of what happened was about to crush the two of them. And Amy couldn't even comprehend the momentum of everything happening, and she could practically hear Karma's desperate, " _Amy, do something!_ "

There are a few moments, she figures, a few moments where everyone is faced with a choice. A decision. One that could change everything. And, if she thought faking being a lesbian would change everything; then, truly- actually- sealing the deal would add a _whole new_ angle at the game. For the last week, she'd been on her toes anticipating when Karma was going to do it. Amy supposed she had been wrong all along.

There was one way she could save them before they (metaphorically) burst into flames.

Without thinking, Amy shot out her arms and grabbed her best friend by the waist, pulling their bodies against one another; she pointedly ignored the confused look that crossed her friend's face.

"If we're faking it," She announced, to the audience, and then, to Lauren; who was still being held back by Penelope.

It was now or never.

"Would I do this?"

She finally built up the courage to look at Karma, who was searching her eyes, just barely following along.

 _Fast, like a bandaid._

In the few milliseconds before their lips met one another's, all she could hear was... stereo silence. As if even the switch in her own mind, finally, for once, turned off. No thoughts. Just... _action_. And she was never the spontaneous, "action" girl.

She closed Karma's bottom lip between her own, and, oddly enough, one thought crossed her mind; and it was that they had a campaign to sell. As her brain tuned back into the present; she noticed the way the crowd was erupting. And... and the God damn confetti canon.

 _Take that, Lauren. We're_ selling _it!_

And, while all the triumph seemed to be happening around her, they had clearly proved themselves right (wrong?), Amy couldn't pull away. Not with the way her heart was pounding against her ribs, and the way Karma was kissing back, she was... afraid. Yet, what was there to be afraid of? The look on Karma's face? The way that this was a bit real now, and being exposed as a real (fake) lesbian from Lauren to her mother would be just as bad as being exposed as a fake lesbian to the public-

Fuck, Amy, you really stepped in it.

And there wasn't a way around it this time.

But, maybe most terrifyingly of all; she didn't want to stop kissing Karma. It was a good kiss. _She_ , was a good kisser.

And, she gripped Amy's arm just a little bit tighter, pulling her closer. Inhaling sharply, Amy resisted the urge to do the same; it was still Karma, after all; and getting hot and heavy with her best friend of thirteen years (not to mention, of the same gender) in front of the whole school was the last thing she had ever really considered happening.  
But still, as Karma pulled away, Amy couldn't help but feel... _disappointed_ \- and breathless. It was time to face the world again.

"Whoa," Karma whispered, gazing upwards at Amy, who, couldn't stop staring at her lips, "I know." Was really her only response, before her friend's hands were squeezing her wrists again, and she was beaming at the crowd giving a standing ovation. "Way to sell it!"  
And that, the Amy Wave, the Lauren Wave- whatever she wanted to call it- was officially part of the disaster when Amy realized that she sold it a little too much.

* * *

If Karma had to choose three positive words to describe herself with, she'd pick: A) determined. B) creative. And, C) honest. Or, at least she tried to be, and that ought to count for something, right?  
If she had to pick three positive words to describe Amy with- she found it a lot harder. Not because Amy wasn't a good person- for the opposite reason, really. She was _too_ good. Picking three was a challenge. But, she reasoned that she'd pick; A) loyal. B) intellectual (thinker, _duh_ ). And C) She was hilarious. But, she was also kind, generally just an all-around thoughtful person, and she was opinionated- in the good way. Yeah, Karma would make _the best_ wing-woman.

And so, at the assembly, when Amy was grabbing her around the waist and kissing her and- really, _saving_ their asses- in front of the whole student body, she was pretty taken aback. It made her question whether or not she'd use intellectual as one of the first cards she'd pull out for her friend. Just because the action was _so_ not Amy. Amy was the kind of person who'd first try to think of a way she could talk them out of the situation.

Maybe she just realized they were in such hot water that there would be no way out of the hot water.

Yeah, she's a thinker. Scratch that; intellectual is still on the prime selling list.

But, it was still a pretty bold move for Amy.

Hell, _Karma_ wouldn't have done it.

Not if Amy hadn't done it first.

But, boy- she was glad that she did.

Such a move skyrocketed their popularity even more; and Karma didn't think that was possible to start with. They had _shippers_. It was _surreal_.

And as for Liam Booker?  
He was _so_ interested. She was certain of it; he was so much more gentle than Karma imagined; not some dumb jock, but he was artistic and sensitive and he was the Ferrari of men at Hester. He didn't hit on her like a pig, he had the respect to take things slow.

So when they began seeing each other- no matter how slowly- it felt like Christmas. And Christmas started happening pretty often- even if it was just stops here and there into the art room between classes (or during) and nothing really happened. But that doesn't mean that they weren't having... _something_.

The flirty looks and comments had to mean _something?_

Until the total, rude, unexpected bomb was dropped right in Karma's stratasphere.

"I've always wanted to sleep with a lesbian," He said, as sweetly as if he was admitting that he had never had sex at all, smiling up at her and all; with his hands grasping her own. That was a moment of dumbfound that Karma hadn't felt in a long time- even proceeding her kiss with Amy. (A lot of close girl friends kiss each other at some point, she'd concluded, and it had made the situation slightly less... _surprising_ ). She felt like she ought to take her finger and flap it between her lips like they did in cartoons. Tongue-tied.

And he must have been able to tell by the way his hopeful expression slowly crumbled into an " _Oh, fuck"_ interpretation. That was about the same time the silence fell away and Karma regained use of words, " _Excuse_ me?"

Gawking, Liam began to stutter- this time it was he who lost the function of his coherence, "I- I didn't... I mean-"

"You only want to sleep with me because I'm... a lesbian?" It took a moment to catch herself from adding ' _You think'_ to the statement. But, was this douche saying that he wouldn't want to sleep with her even if she... wasn't _pretending_ to be a lesbian?

"Well," He choked out, eyes darting around, as if looking for some kind of escape. Karma slowly pulled her hands out from under his, and he watched, in a stunned horror, "You're a lesbian, though?"

Liam _Fucking_ Booker. Amy was so _right_ \- he was just another shallow, sex-obsessed _boy_ \- forget the artsy saint he seemed to think he was (and who Karma had been tricked into thinking he was, too. Damn him!).  
But still... he was so good looking, even when he was sitting in front of her, trying to backtrack what he'd said. And either way- lesbian or not- they were... making progress.

"I think we should... take a bit of time...apart," She wasn't sure how to string together what to say, or how to say it. (Honestly, what does one say when the Ferrari of boys is starting to be into you but only because he thinks you're a lesbian and you're only faking being a lesbian with your best friend so that you could have gotten some attention from said boy? Well, sort of. Even Karma was lost, with the way the tables had turned.)

If Liam's eyes could go any wider, they'd fall out of his head. "Oh." He said flatly, "Okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

She knew he didn't. He didn't mean to come off the way he did, he didn't mean to fuck up- whatever excuse he was about to pull. She _knew_. He was a boy. They were, for the most part, lacking much of the social finesse when it came to such delicate matters. Karma held up a hand, cutting him off, "Don't worry," She said quickly, "I just... I gotta go,"

As mad as she was with him, she knew it wasn't over yet. She wasn't going to let something she put so much work into be gone in split seconds, all because of one stupid little comment. Karma had to figure out how to work around it; she needed to come back, with a plan. Because, the plan had worked thus far, hadn't it? She needed to be better equipped for the situation, not flailing like a fish out of water.

In the meantime, she had a Homecoming to get ready for.


	3. Wave (Goodbye)

Aside from being suddenly cast into the role of "lesbian"- Amy had new responsibilities she had to take care of. (With great lesbianism comes great responsibility?)  
Her new VIP status required some basic appearances; such as the the Homecoming Dance. But, thankfully, she had some leverage away from the situation considering she wasn't part of the School Activities Board, but, Karma was. And so- she could comfortably stay away from the whole planning situation, but show up, as she was expected to- being elected and all. But that didn't mean she was entirely out of the woods.

Lauren was also part of said Board, with Karma, and she had somehow managed to dictate herself to (Student) Head of the Board. However, Amy could see (and hear) that the tides were starting to turn; and Karma's word was being held higher than that of her vindictive step-sister. This, quite clearly, was causing problems; not for anyone but Lauren and herself, most _remotely_ Karma. Because Lauren still held the sword of power she liked to call " _Exposure_ " and she knew it was sharp and could cut deep; whether it was true or not.

And so, once again, Amy was left grasping at air to try to get ahold of something she could do to save her own skin. (No thanks to Karma...)

"Shane," She whispered from a few desks behind the boy towards the end of their Renewable Resources class. A few heads turned, including Shane, who raised his eyebrows in interest as a silent reply. "I need to talk to you after class,"

He nodded, giving her a thumbs up. Little _asshat_ still thought he had blessed the world with God's greatest gift of lady love, and that he had wonderfully pulled Amy from the closet- making her a lovable figure of the public. "You're like gay Wonderwoman!" He'd once remarked, "Just think about all the people you could be inspiring,"

"And who's Karma?"

He paused, as if that wasn't the reply he was expecting, "Gay Black Widow?"

Amy had rolled her eyes, "Those two aren't even in the same universe,"

And while what he had said about inspiring others felt good, it felt even worse knowing that it was all just an act. Which is exactly why he (the shit) had to help her through this situation- he was the one who put her there first.

"Alone," She said flatly, just as the bell- no, the _gong-_ went off. His smug expression faltered a bit, and he nodded again, gathering his books. Amy did the same.

"What is it?" He asked as they got into the hall, "Trouble in paradise?"

She wanted to reach out and grab him by his ear, shake him around and yell at him for the whole mess. But, she couldn't; that wasn't how she rolled. "Yes, actually," She muttered, glancing at him from the corner of her eye; they had to find somewhere more private.

"Is it you and Karma?" He countered just as quickly; sounding genuinely upset, "Is the fame getting to he-"

"No," Amy cut him off, changing course from her locker, and pushing on the door to the courtyard. Shane followed without question; it wasn't like anyone at this school went to class half of the time, anyway. "It's not me and Karma."

He raised his brows, "So... then what is it?"

Groaning, Amy wished she'd decided on her course of action earlier. Was it Lauren? Was it her mom? Was the problem going to be the whole situation in itself? She wasn't sure how much she should admit to Shane, considering she'd never had much of a conversation with him until he mistakenly outed her. And that, in itself, seemed like a rather untrustworthy thing to do; so maybe spilling the beans to him wasn't the right move... _yet._

"It's..." She said slowly, looking for any sign of Lauren, or Karma- and wondering whether or not Karma was with Liam, since that was happening so often lately, "my mom."

"You're..?" He repeated slowly, not quite processing.

"I'm not... _out_ ," Amy finished, surprised at the way saying it out loud made her feel all... fidgety. Saying something so legitimate with it's false premises attached. "Not to her."

"Oh."Shane's cheeks flushed; he had realized the gravity of the situation (of Lauren) in split seconds, "And she's..?"

"Really," Amy sighed, knowing what she was about to say wasn't a lie. Not at all. And it was petrifying. "quite homophobic."

Shane nodded briskly, pursing his lips, "Okay," His tone had even changed, softer, less condescending; she let her shoulders drop a bit, "So what do you want me to do?"

"Can you pick me up?" Amy answered quickly, "Pretend to be... my date?"

The boy's mouth hung open slightly, and for a moment Amy wondered if she would have to start using threats to get him to help out, "Okay, but I'm not really into beards," He smirked, and she scoffed in return. But the deal was set. She wasn't sure how else she needed him to help her, but she was dead-set on finding something else for him to do... eventually. When she figured it out.

* * *

And, Amy wasn't sure how; Farrah bought their get-up of a normal heterosexual pair of teens going to Homecoming. Even more surprisingly, her mom really rooted for Shane. Like, they _really_ hit it off.

"I like your mom," He mused as the door closed behind them, "She's fabulous,"

Amy rolled her eyes so hard she assumed it was a miracle they didn't get lost in her head, "Well, you don't have to live with her. I think you'd like it less,"

He seemed to process this sympathetically, "Well," He replied slowly, "Yeah, I could see how she could be a little bit... _uptight_ about the whole thing. She seems like one of those people who really want to be living the model, normal life,"

"Yup," Opening the passenger door of Shane's beater, "That's her."

"I hate to tell you this," He sighed, moving around the front of the car, "But you'll have to face it eventually,"

 _No,_ Amy thought in exasperation, _I won't, but, if I could avoid it for the time being, that would be great._  
The ride to Hester was, for the most part, silent (Aside from the radio blaring. Turns out, Shane was a big fan of Katy Perry), and Amy found herself once again considering telling him the truth. But, also once again, she understood that this wouldn't be the time.  
So, she thanked him for his service, as well as the ride, and the two of them parted ways. "You still have my vote for Homecoming Queen, though!" He hollered as she began weaving through the crowd, looking for the familiar red-hair somewhere among her peers.

 _Fucking Homecoming Queen,_ she thought bitterly, although she wasn't quite sure why. Maybe if he hadn't nominated them and tempted Karma with the idea, then the two of them wouldn't be pretending to be lesbians.

After about her third lap around the dance floor, Amy gave up- throwing her arms across her chest and groaning. She had managed to spot Lauren, however; being fanned over by Leila and Lisbeth like the primadonna she was. One of them was fixing her hair, while the other was holding her punch, listening to the short blonde talk about something animatedly. By the way her nose was scrunched up and there was an annoyed crease between her eyes, Amy figured she must be complaining about the two of them- _again_. Or about backwards Hester. Actually, most likely, both things at once.

Turning away from that direction, too, Amy cut through the sea of people and headed to the snack table. Observing the assorted snacks that included various cookies, fruit-kebabs, finger sandwiches, and punch bowls, she drummed her fingers against the surface, not entirely sure where to go or what to do. She was lost without Karma, as far as social gatherings went. (And, even at that; the two of them weren't exactly a spell-binding pair. Karma came off as a little bit too eager and pushy half the time, and half the time, Amy said nothing at all.)

Killing time, Amy plucked a fruit-kebab up, and tried to eat some pineapple and cantaloupe, before deciding she had no appetite, and, so, casually, she set the remainder of it down and covered it with a napkin. Next, she poured some punch into a recycled plastic cup, bringing it to her mouth, she noticed it smelled strongly of tangerine and... something much more pungent. Furrowing her brow, she put the cup to her lips and allowed the tiniest sip through her lips; before cringing and placing the cup next to her abandoned kebab.

"Spiked," She muttered to herself, still grimacing, "Definitely spiked. Okay,"

Sighing, she took a few steps back; and that's when she spotted Karma; back facing her, chatting with...

Amy felt something in her deflate.

Liam Booker.

That's so... _predictable._

Pulling her lip between her teeth, Amy allowed herself a moment to look at the floor, try to compose whatever it was in her that got ticked off whenever she saw the two of  
them together. _If only it wasn't Booker,_ she figured, _if only she stopped trying to get someone to like her and waited for the right person to come to her themselves_. Karma deserved more than some egotistical douche-lord, but Amy knew too well that she was only after him for just as shallow of reasons. He was good looking. He was the ultimate prize.

And once Karma set her aim on something... well...

Inhaling sharply, Amy tore her eyes from the ground, at the same moment, Liam seemed to notice her. He jutted his chin outwards, as though to point to Karma who was behind them. _Not even a proper greeting? I'm her_ girlfriend, _after all._

Karma looked over her shoulder, and when their eyes met, she beamed. And Amy couldn't help but feel herself smile, just a little, in response.

And she couldn't help but feel that smile grow, just a little, when Karma waved goodbye to the boy and started towards her instead. She was holding something in her hands, carefully, as if to keep it safe from all surroundings.

"Hey," Amy said when she approached.

"Hi," The red-head replied, just as enthusiastically, "I got you this," She offered her hands outwards; on it, resting a beautiful, powdered jelly doughnut.

That, made Amy smile ear to ear- all of the moment's anger pouring from her body, "Doughnut?"

Karma laughed, "Yeah, I requested them for you, but, they were going fast," Touched, Amy plucked the dessert from her friend's hands, as she went on, "When I noticed that was the last one. I thought it had _Amy_ written all over it,"

Biting into the powdered heaven, Amy nodded, "Thank you. You're like, the best friend ever,"

" _Girlfriend_ ," She corrected without missing a beat, and Amy nodded to that, too, feeling something in her shift as she thought about Liam. Some _girlfriend._ But she kept quiet.  
"So when you're done that, let's dance?"

"I'd be honoured," She mumbled through the mouthful of doughnut.

"Have you seen Lauren?" Karma asked, and Amy continued nodding, "She's _so_ pissed. She knows we've got this in the bag, she knows,"

"Well, we sure sold it," She responded softly, before taking another bite. Karma seemed to stiffen slightly, glancing at her from the corner of her eyes.

 _Was it something I said?_

But then she turned, an earnest expression crossing face, " _You_ sold it. Good job, I was... _surprised_."

Amy felt the heat rising in her cheeks again, the doughnut going dry against her tongue. "I didn't really think about it," She admitted, before stuffing the rest of the treat into her mouth- mostly to keep herself from maybe saying anything else regarding the situation that could make things worse.

(And I really liked it, perhaps.)

(Are we going to do it again, maybe.)

(She didn't know, but she figured it would be something stupid like that.)

Karma nodded slowly, mouth slightly open, and her eyes trailed away. For that, Amy was glad; because she found her eyes trailing down to the other girl's lips.

"Oh my God," Karma said suddenly, causing Amy snap her gaze away.

" _Hrmph_?" Was all she could muster around the doughnut.

"Amy," Karma turned and faced her entirely now, "Your mom's here."

She nearly choked.

* * *

Farrah Raudenfeld worked for the local news station, ever since Amy was seven years old. Picking up stories, here and there, and hey- at least she seemed kind of passionate about it. That was nice to see, since at home she was the equivalent of a friendless, perfectionist, serial dater.

Scratch equivalent. She _was_. And it wasn't really her fault, no- Amy didn't blame her.

Well, maybe she'd used to. When she was younger.

Her father had left not long before that; only a few months, right before her seventh birthday. There were tears- more from Amy than from her mother, but, still. She supposed that they were better off that way; without him, that is. And Amy's mother needed a new, better paying job. Being a single mother- she needed to spend a lot of time at work, which meant, for a few years, she'd spent a lot of time at the Ashcroft household.  
So, _maybe_ Farrah had an unreasonable expectation of perfection- maybe she just desperately wanted to keep things in order so that her child didn't think things were falling apart (Amy knew they were. She knew what it meant when a dad left. She knew it meant things weren't good enough.). So, _maybe_ Farrah went through men like a whirlwind to try to replace the void he made when he left.

And so, at first, she blamed her mother for not spending enough time with her; she thought maybe she wasn't good enough, either; but her dad left before Farrah could, and so she was stuck with Amy. She'd formed the habit of hating being coddled by her mother. She couldn't shake the feeling of her presence being nothing more than a burden.  
But, when she grew up, she sort of got it. Farrah was just doing what she needed to do to keep them standing.

But sometimes, she still had her doubts.

And _sometimes_ , more recently, doubt came in the form of Lauren. When Farrah met Bruce, she'd been thrilled to find out that he had a daughter that was the same age as Amy. She'd come home one night after things had started getting serious (two months into the relationship) and sat down next to Amy on the couch when she'd returned from their date.

"I really like this man," She'd told Amy, putting a hand on her knee that felt like cold, dead weight. Amy had given her a very levelled, indifferent look. "I think he and I... I think he might be the one, Amy,"

She hadn't felt her mouth move, she hadn't felt her eyebrows quirk- nothing. Not a clue for her mother to interpret. She hadn't even thought about what her mother was saying, not a care, not an interest. She'd heard it a few times by now. "He actually has a daughter that's your age, too," She'd thrown her hands up in the air, unable to contain her glee. Amy felt a little selfish for not sharing it; but Farrah didn't notice, "Isn't that just the craziest thing?"

The _craziest_ _thing_ , Amy agreed when she met Lauren. In fact , she didn't even _have_ to _meet_ Lauren; she knew from the second she saw the other blonde emerge from her father's BMW, and envelope her mother in a polite hug. She was _beautiful._ She was _girly,_ wearing a skirt, heels, and really- she was just dolled up. Amy could immediately pinpoint everything in her that her mother had pushed her to be, although, she'd never said the words.

And, well, when she sat on the sidelines of their conversations, and- good _God_ , they shared interests- Amy knew she was hooped.

* * *

So, to repeat; the situation was a nightmare, nonetheless, when Karma pointed out Amy's mother. She felt the blood drain from from her face, her ears rang momentarily, and the doughnut stuck in her throat. In fact, she had to hack it back up; prompting Karma to give her a few rough smacks between the shoulder blades.

"I'll be back," Amy croaked, trying to swallow again. Karma nodded, watching her friend go. Amy pushed through the crowd towards her mother, who hadn't noticed her yet; and when she approached, she tapped the woman on the shoulder, "Mom?" She asked, feeling struck like a deer in the headlights, "What're you doing here?"

 _Please tell me I forgot something_ , she prayed to any God that might be listening, _please tell me I just forgot my Epi Pen._

"Amy," Her mother greeted, apparently not so keen on her daughter's tone, "Well, I'm just waitin' to get the show on the road here,"

"What does that mean?" She inquired quickly, tensing.

Farrah sighed, "I'm supposed to be interviewing the Homecoming candidates- word is, is that there's lesbians running, is that right?"

Clearly her prayers went unanswered. "Uhh..." She croaked, struggling to keep the horror from sending her sprinting out of the gym, "Yeah..."

"Well, do you know where those two gals are?"

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

"No," She answered, turning away, quickly, "But Karma might- stay here,"

She didn't wait for her mother's reply, instead, she immediately started scurrying back towards her best friend, who had seemed to be watching from afar, wincing in a kind of silent shock.

"She needs to interview the lesbians, Karma," Amy blurted urgently as she approached, clutching the back of her own neck and squeezing, "Karma, my _mom_ needs to interview _the lesbians,_ "

"Okay, okay," The girl soothed, pulling a lip between her teeth and reaching out, prying the hand off of the back of Amy's neck, "Calm down. We can..."

"There's no way around it!" She felt hysterical; she hadn't imagined the encounter to cause her so much sudden stress. Sure, she liked not to imagine the encounter at all, but, she knew there was the slightest chance.

She just didn't expect it to be like this.

" _Fuck_ ," Amy hissed, stamping a foot against the ground in frustration, "Can we abort mission?"

But Karma wasn't looking at her anymore. She was looking past her. "I think it might be too late," She murmured. Amy turned, seeing Penelope chatting it up with her mother, beaming, and then waving a hand to indicate Farrah to follow her.

"Oh sweet bloody Mary," The disbelief coursed through her body as if it was in her very blood, and she dropped her head into her hands in defeat.

"Hang in there," Karma attempted to pacify her, but she seemed like she was at just a lack of tact as Amy. "We'll figure it out,"

"Well _hi,_ Amy..?" Her mother's voice was full of confusion- Amy could imagine she was slowly getting the gears to process in her head, but not fully grasping the concept. She turned, grinning sheepishly under the weight of the doom that seemed to be pressing down on her, and solely her.

"Oh," Penelope twittered happily, "You two know each other?"

Farrah was unable to pull her eyes away from the scene; Amy, standing before her, next to Karma... The same Karma that had been friends with Amy for years. "Yes..." The older woman replied slowly, "Amy is my daughter,"

Penelope's smile gradually cracked as the awkwardness of the situation dawned on her, "Oh," She said a bit more flatly this time, casting her eyes downwards, "I see."

Amy saw the cameramen appear behind her mother, and he tapped the woman lightly on the arm. This seemed to pull Farrah back to reality, and she turned to face him- he put a finger against his wrist as though to indicate the time. Amy gave Karma a sideways glance; she looked like she was in pain for the sake of her friend, "It'll be okay," She insisted quietly, but Amy's breath was already catching in her throat, "Karms?"

"Yeah, Amy?"

"What do you think the chance is of me spontaneously combusting right now?"

Karma took a thoughtful pause, before replying, "Slim."

Before she could stop it, Amy heard a small whimper escape her throat, and Karma reluctantly placed her hand on her upper arm. But it wasn't enough of a vice.

 _Fuck it, she already thinks we're dating,_ she thought, grasping Karma's hand in her own and holding on. _Tight_. Her friend didn't complain this time, and instead pressed a smile as Farrah turned around; obviously she had taken the small amount of time to compose herself.

"Right, well, let's get on with it then," The woman proposed, now gripping her reporter's microphone with a white-knuckled fist.

Karma shuffled a bit closer to Amy, who was trying hard not to look absolutely mortified as the little red light on the camera blinked on.

"I'm here at Hester High," The woman started, but Amy couldn't focus on that.

Holy shit how was she going to clean this one up?

Beyond her mother's head, she spotted Lauren; who appeared to be both blown away but entirely satisfied that Amy had been discovered without any devious help from her. But, she was eating it up, nonetheless.

"-With one of our Homecoming Queens, Karma Ashcroft!" The woman announced, ushering Karma towards the mic. Shocked, she let Karma's fingers free of her own- by the way the red head's face gave a stunned flash, it was evident that the whole ordeal had been picked up and put on it's back. "Karma," Her mother said sweetly, "How does it feel to be part of the pair for Hester's first same-sex Homecoming Queens?"

"Uh," This was one of the few times she'd seen Karma rendered speechless. "It- uh," Nervous laughter escaped her; Amy cast a look at Penelope, who looked like she had been bewildered into an out of body experience.

And Lauren's mouth hung open in disbelief.

Did Farrah really somehow miss the point that... they were _both_ the Homecoming Queens? Was she in denial? Or did it just go over her head?

"Well," Karma cleared her throat, stumbling over her words, "It's an honour, _obviously_. The support we-" Her eyes scanned the room, as though she wasn't sure how thin of a line she was supposed to be walking on to get around the elephant in the room (which was, obviously, that Amy was the other half of the ensemble) "-have had, has been incredible. _Truly._ Um,"

Farrah was nodding along, but when Karma trailed off again, she moved the mic away, back to herself, "Now, pardon me if this is too personal; but how has coming out changed your... perspective? Day to day life?"

At this, Karma's eyebrows shot upwards, "Oh," She laughed nervously, her cheeks gradually becoming a darker shade of red, "It's been... _different_ , but... everyone's been very... _accepting_ ,"

 _There was no way Farrah couldn't know what was happening, she may be daft but she is purposefully avoiding it this time._

 _Purposefully_ sweeping Amy under the rug because she didn't want to face the facts the Amy could somehow _not_ be the perfect daughter she dreamed of. She already wasn't.  
But, this, to her mother- she knew that being gay would just be too taboo. People would _stare_ at her. Farrah would be the parent of the gay kid, how _humiliating_.

Amy felt her hands curl at her sides, clenching, and releasing. Taking a deep breath in through her nose, she moved into the frame next to Karma, trying to nonchalantly intertwine their fingers again (Although her palms are clammy. Hopefully Karma doesn't mind).

"Oh, hi, Amy," Her friend greeted uncertainly- Amy could feel that the other girls hands are just as sweaty. Well, good. Let them be sweaty messes together.

(Not like that).

But, she slowly feels the courage drain from her. She leans forward into the microphone that was being held in front of Karma, "Hi,"

Her mother blinked frantically, trying to keep calm under the circumstances, "And this is..?"

"Amy," She said, voice only shaking slightly, "Daughter, sister, friend..." She peeked at Karma through the corner of her eye, and tried to swallow past the lump in her throat, " _girlfriend_ ,"

Saying it out loud was liberating, to say the least. She felt the immense weight being taken off her shoulders- faking it or not, it wasn't a secret anymore. Lauren wouldn't have that kind of power over her anymore. That, felt great.

And whether her mother had expected it or not; the sentiment seemed to startle her into a commercial break- and the two of them took off, only to be crowned twenty minutes later. For once, watching Lauren scowl at the two of them from afar felt absolutely lovely.

"That was awesome," Karma remarked, her arms slung around Amy's neck as they shared their Homecoming Dance. Amy was trying not to think about how nice it was to have her own hands around Karma's waist, "You totally owned it,"

She just laughed; she was also trying hard not to think about how deep of a shit pool she was going to be walking into when she got home.

She watched her friend's eyes wander past her momentarily, catching ahold of something else; Amy let out a small puff (which Karma didn't notice), she didn't have to guess what it was.

"Things are going well with Liam and I," She stated happily, "I think we might... take it to the next level,"

Amy's breath hitched in her chest; with images of _what the hell that could mean_ flashing through her mind, along with _what the hell level had they already been on?_

"Wow, that's..." She tries to push those images out of her mind- _immediately_ , " _fast_ , don't you think?"

Karma shrugs in response, not catching onto the way Amy's fingers gripped her waist a little bit tighter, "I don't think so. Popular people sleep with popular people- it's like, the circle of life,"

And she _really_ wished she hadn't heard any of that come out of her best friend's mouth. Not only was she wrong- on so many levels- it was just... _awful._

"You only want to sleep with him because he's popular- and you're now popular?"

"Well, no, that's not what I mean,"

Amy raised her brows, "Then what is?"

Leave it to the universe to make a shit situation somehow worse. Even when she was trying to make the best of just _fake coming out_ for the sake of her _fake girlfriend_ so that she could... do this very thing.  
Be popular. Get the boy.

And that's when it occurred to Amy- what did she get out of it?  
(Well, it had occurred to her on several instances before now, but, she went with it. And she knew she still would. But just now, it occurred to her again, and it pissed her off, a little. A lot.)

The universe, she concluded, is a fucking dick.

Karma sighed, giving her friend a pleading look, "I _like_ him, Amy. And for once- he likes me,"

 _He likes the person you made_ , she wanted to point out. But as the song ended, Karma dropped her hands; their mandatory dance was over. A bit more hesitantly, Amy did the same.

And she noticed the way Karma was basically itching to go running over to Liam.

"Go," She sighed, "Go dance with him. Have fun,"

She'd go home. Her work was done here. She'd came, she'd been crowned, they'd had their dance, and she'd come out to her mother. Every necessary thing Karma needed her  
for had been fulfilled- and more. So she could leave; Karma could stay and have her night with Liam.

Lord knows that Amy would much rather be at home watching a documentary in her pyjama's anyway. Sure, she'd have the most uncomfortable face-off with her mother when she got there, first, but- regardless, she could be in bed by eleven o'clock. That was a lot more appealing to her than staying and watching Karma tear up the dance floor from the sidelines.  
And so she found Shane, she asked him to drive her home- and he patted her on the back for her " _courage"_. She'd resisted the urge to mock the entire situation while she took off her kitten heels and walked barefoot to his car. But resisting the tears that came with it was even worse.

* * *

Karma had learned a few things about Liam Booker.

One of those things was that he had a way with words. And, that way with words involved him constantly putting his own foot in his mouth and getting away with it because of his charming good looks. It was just a fact. Karma knew it was a fact because, hey- _she_ let him get away with it. No matter how many times he blundered over something borderline asshole-ish. (Recall: _I've always wanted to sleep with a lesbian_.)

But, to be fair, she didn't exactly have a great track-record of always coming across like she meant to. (Recall: _popular people sleep with popular people._ )

She didn't want to think that she was being one of those girls; the kind who genuinely just wanted to sleep with a boy because he was popular. She _liked_ Liam- _despite_ his many blunders. He had... _good intentions_ , but when he'd said what he'd said; Karma had to reevaluate.

Liam wanted to sleep with a lesbian? _Fine._

But Karma had to make sure he _actually_ liked her first. They could sleep together. _Fine_. They could sleep together while she was a lesbian and then she could come clean- call herself bisexual or experimenting or whatever it was- and no one would ever know the harm. Sure, the initial shock of his statement had sent her reeling a few steps backwards, but she came to her conclusions pretty quick; it wasn't very difficult.

Liam Booker was still Liam Booker. And he was starting to like her; Karma Ashcroft.

At first she was worried she might be reading into it all a little too much; but she couldn't help but notice the way his eyes softened when they were together. Or the way he'd sneak glances at her lips while she spoke (It wasn't like she wasn't doing the same, because she _so_ was), or the way even his voice would become more gentle in the way he spoke. She was pretty sure that when she'd asked to take some time apart, Liam may have realized what he could have been losing; because since then, they'd taken it a bit slower. Sure, they still hadn't kissed, but the sexual tension was _killer_. They were building up to that; which would only make it better when it finally happened, Karma knew.  
And she thought it was going to happen the night of Homecoming. After Amy had given her blessing, she and Liam shared a few dances, a few snacks, and at the end of the night, he'd accompanied her outside to where her parents were waiting in the Good Karma van. They had stood on the steps in front of Hester, and their goodbye had lasted longer than usual, and it had a lot of wistful lip watching. Karma had wondered that if her parents weren't eagerly waiting her proud return as reigning lesbian Homecoming Queen, if they would have.

She liked to think so.

"See you later," He'd murmured eventually, breaking the silence, offering her a sheepish grin. It was the darn cutest thing Karma had seen since that time Amy fell in the mud outside of Nando's and pouted up at her (while she, of course, couldn't contain her giggles, but dutifully helped her to her feet).

Now there's a thing; Amy.  
She hadn't actually seen her since she gave said blessing- Karma just assumed she went home to enjoy her alone time- maximum social outings for her best friend usually consisted of three hours, tops. Not that there was anything _wrong_ with that- the excitement was over, anyways. Although, she did feel a little bit bad for her; Amy's mom was going to flip- fake lesbians or not.

But, she supposed, Amy wouldn't have done it if she knew she couldn't handle it. She admired her for that. And she was glad that, clearly, she was starting to become a bit more courageous as far as actions went.

Who knew coming out as lesbians would give her that little push?

She wished Amy could let loose a little about the Liam thing, however. It wouldn't take a psychic to see that Amy remained begrudgingly unimpressed with the guy despite all of the good things Karma has told her. _Maybe it would just take a little bit more time for her to warm up to it,_ she thought, _things were happening pretty quickly._

* * *

But quick didn't necessarily mean bad.

And that was in regards to all situations, really. She'd talked to Amy about how things went with her mother, and she had shrugged, although, Karma could see something close off in her eyes, "Oh, it was... well, how you'd expect," She said dryly, "But, short-lived."

"Oh?" Karma wasn't sure how to interpret that, "Care to explain?"

Amy sighed, the two of them were inspecting the grass in the courtyard for a flat spot where they could eat their lunch. Karma even packed a small picnic blanket under her arm; she was ready to set the picture perfect scene- and Amy didn't even seem to notice, or if she did, she didn't say anything about it.

"To be honest, she just got kind of wigged out and shut it down," The blonde explained, "Which was fine with me. The less of this crap I have to deal with, the better,"

"Excellent way to look at it," Karma agreed positively, coming to a halt. Here would suffice. "Sorry it got kind of weird, though,"

Casually flipping the blanket out onto the grass, Karma watched as Amy halted to, mouth opening and closing a few times as she mentally tried to get a grasp on a reply. "Well, I mean," The girl started, before bending down to help straighten out the corners of the blanket, "It's a bit.. _different,_ you know? I kind of feels like I'm being... someone else. But it kind of feels good," She admitted, appearing lost, "I don't mind it,"

Amy. Good, good, Amy. "Well, I'm glad you don't mind," She said- sincerely meaning it. How lucky she was to have a friend as selfless as Amy- she wouldn't want to be fake girlfriends with anyone else.

It was honestly a relief to know that Amy didn't mind it- Karma had been worried that their ruse was causing her friend more stress than it was worth. After all, while it may have been allowing her own fantasies to come true- Amy wasn't really reaping the benefits. She knew she didn't care much for popularity. And she wasn't using the newfound fame to capture any cute boys.

"We should find you a secret boyfriend, Aims," She mused thoughtfully. The girl froze momentarily, one hand reaching into her backpack, before she lifted her brow quirkily, "I don't think I need _another_ secret relationship,"  
At this, Karma noticed the way her friend shrank a little; twisting her lips uncertainly, and removing lunch box ( _so_ Amy) from the depths of her bag. Amy must've been just as aware that she was getting about as much out of this as a bucket without a bottom.

But she didn't mind.

Well, _easy_. Karma just had to figure out what Amy really wanted- what she could get out of this- and help her get it. Or, even better, gift her friend with it- so to speak. _Game on._

And a little plan spun in her mind- she would figure it out. She would be hell bent on it. But, to do that; she had to get Amy out there a little.

Sighing, Karma straightened up a little, "Okay, yeah- maybe not,"

Amy wasn't looking now, but she was nodding, focused on deciding which piece of food she should have first. Apples, or Oreos?

Karma knew Amy would pick the Oreos first. She had this dilemma almost every day; junk food, or healthy food first?

Which was why Karma had to act fast- unlocking her cell phone, she opened up the camera feature, "We'll figure it out," She promised, carefully making her way across the blanket towards Amy. And now- she had paused, looked up, and paid attention; the faintest crease forming between her eyes in curiosity.

They'd kissed once in the gym already. What was the big deal? That was _for_ something- and so was this.

She closed their lips together; thankfully, Amy didn't question it, like Karma half expected she would.  
Softly, she held Amy there (and this is where it got tricky) and sneakily raised her arm- the one she'd been clutching her cell phone with- and blindly snapped a photo. If all went well, she would have actually caught something; not just space and air.

And, it would be even better if the photo was half decent.

Pulling away, Karma felt her pulse slow down a little- good. It went without a hitch. Grinning, she brought the phone back against her and observed the image.

"What was that?" Amy inquired- but she was still smiling. It was _such_ a good thing Amy didn't mind.

Karma was ecstatic; the picture had turned out in the best way possible- although, it felt strange to look at herself kissing Amy. It looked... _right_ wasn't the word she was looking for- but it looked _natural_.  
 _God_ , she wondered, _how many other friends would look this good kissing?_

It was _so on_ , "Our new Instagram picture," She replied, wiggling her eyebrows- extending the phone towards the blonde to see. She squinted at it, but didn't take it in her hands.  
"Looks good," She replied, before taking a bite from the Oreo. It was fortunate to see they both agreed.

* * *

When it came to Liam; quick didn't seem quick enough, but, Karma had to compose herself and remember that she was playing hard to get for a very good reason.

She'd stopped by the art room after lunch, which was always where he seemed to be around that time (he was in there most of the time, anyway. Karma really had to ask him about his classes...), and hung around in the doorframe for a moment; watching him sculpt... _something._  
"So what's this piece about?" She asked, after the moments of trying to decipher it had come up blank. Liam jumped slightly, startled; but when he saw her, he broke into a grin.

"To be honest," He carefully put a clay-crusted instrument down on the table, next to his... _whatever_ it was, "I don't really know."

It looked kind of like those sculptures from _Beetlejuice_ ; all abstract and without true figure. But, honestly, it didn't come off as one of those obscure " _decide for yourself_ " type art pieces; it just seemed like Liam didn't know what the hell he was doing.

"Well," Karma smiled, "It's nice."

"Thanks," The boy tried to dust some of the clay off of his hands, "So what brings you here?"

She raised a coy eyebrow; she'd been coming here so often lately that he knew the excuse, "Oh, you know- Geometry. Same old, don't wanna go,"

"Fair," He laughed, catching onto Karma's playful tone, "Should've guessed it,"

"Yup," She rocked on her heels- they were the only two in the room- also, as usual around this time. He must have had a free block or a spare key or something to always be in  
here. She drifted over to the little sofa in the corner (for an art room, it was always so dark. You'd think they'd invest in some better lighting), "So I thought I'd come see what was up,"

"Oh, well," He gestured to the sculpture vaguely, before making his way over, "As you can see; not a whole lot."

"So we'd have time to squeeze in a chat?" Karma asked hopefully, blinking up at him. See, she'd come to the conclusion that her and Booker were _definitely_ happening. No matter how much skirting around the bush that they were doing- and going to continue to do. They'd taken it sufficiently slow for the last two weeks. And things were going to happen on her terms.

His eyes widened, "What kind of chat?" He sounded pressed- like he had done something wrong.

But the real problem would come with how to _ease_ into it. Karma wasn't very good at easing. She liked to take the leap of faith- or, as Amy referred to it; _jump head first into the water without checking whether or not it was shallow.  
_ She had a point. It had been shallow a few times. But she didn't think it was so shallow _this_ time.

The breath hitched in her throat as a dozen ways she could potentially maybe start the conversation buzzed through her mind. But none were right.

So she'd jump.

"Can we kiss?"

Liam appeared astonished, his jaw dropped- and Karma was immediately kicking herself for not being a bit more God damn _smooth_ about it.

That was, until he grabbed her by the chin and tilted her head upwards to meet his and-

 _Yes._

The moment was finally here. She was finally _Karma Ashcroft_ \- kissing _Liam Booker._

 _Point, set, match._


	4. Jealous

**This is a lot a story building chapter. After this, it will start to stray from the plot of the actual show. But not entirely (No way am I giving up that threesome drama). Please review, fav, follow if you're interested. PS: I edited this at two thirty in the morning, so hopefully it's alright. lol.  
**

* * *

Amy noticed something that worried her.

 _There-_ she ignored it, but it was there- that _glint_ in Karma's eyes; where her nose scrunches up a little bit, and she has that damn mischievous smirk against her lips. Amy had gotten to know this look very well over the years (in fact, she'd very originally pegged it as _The Karma Look)_. And it always meant one thing: she was up to something.

And when Karma was up to something, it hardly ever ended well.

And when Amy had noticed this look, she hoped to _God_ she could ignore it. She'd continued trying to decide about her dietary choices- right before Karma had laid one on her.  
But- to be honest; Amy saw it coming. The second she saw that little glint, and she started crawling her way across the picnic blanket.

But had she entirely _suspected_ it? Somewhat. Amy had planted the kiss in the gym because it was necessary, but she wasn't sure if Karma would ever use that tactic again. Let alone for something that... well, had no real reason, really. Except for show.  
But then again- there was that little sparkle of an idea in her friend's green eyes that made Amy uneasy as to what she was going to do next. And then the picture... well, that just added to her wonder; would Karma really go that far for a picture? Maybe. She doubted it, though.

Yet, there was something that worried her more;

Amy wanted it to happen.

Hoped- was maybe a better word. She wasn't _yearning_ for it, or anything- but, she'd just be lying to herself if she said she didn't _hope_ it would. Because she did; she couldn't stop sneaking peeks at Karma's lips, or wondering when it would happen next, or reliving that gym moment with just the tiniest hint of awe at the moment and how it... well, how it felt.

That worried her.

Sitting there, across from Karma, trying to compose herself- fascinated by the way her hair fell so perfectly over her shoulder's, her smile- even her voice suddenly sounded a little bit better. Softer. Sweeter. She'd never contemplated these things before, and now she found herself doing it- constantly.  
Amy had tried not to find herself lost in the moment. But, regardless of her best (minimal) efforts, she found herself sitting in complete bliss and melancholy.

"Looks good," She had agreed, but it somehow just wasn't enough. Putting her finger on what it was that she was missing turned out to be a harder task than she imagined.

First, she found herself annoyed at Karma's use of her as a pawn again. Yeah, that _must_ be it. But it wasn't. She'd decided that much about five seconds after the development of that idea.  
However, that didn't mean it didn't add to the list of things that were making her feel this way. She was, in a way, _jealous_ that Karma was puppeteering her like she was one of those creepy ventriloquist dolls, sitting on her lap and passively spewing out everything Karma was saying- and _that's it._ Amy was coming up dry in all other aspects of the situation. _Karma_ was the one getting the guy. Sure, she'd said that she didn't mind their charade- but with every day, every new irritant- she'd found that to be less and less true.

And then... there was the fucking Skwerkle protest.

Lead by Liam Booker. _Idiot._

And Karma was going along with it- only to impress him, that much was obvious. _Idiot._

The whole thing sent Amy tip toeing towards the edge of their ruse; so much that she'd squirreled herself as far away from the whole thing as she could. Karma could do this one without her, she'd figured. Amy would go mope on her own, begrudgingly sneaking peeks towards the direction of the protest; all of the students with their signs and chants- there were a lot of things students at Hester didn't seem to get sick of- and protests were one of them. Amy had seen enough, she felt she owed it to herself to sit this one out.

She had other things to think about, anyway. Not that she hadn't already thought about them enough. Yet, it kept eating at her; Karma had said something about finding her a secret boyfriend. And _no_ , Amy didn't think it was a good idea. But, she thought that maybe there was a grain of truth to it; she had to get out there, find herself someone she could connect with, and this feeling with Karma wouldn't be so mixed up. Maybe she was just lonely. Maybe she needed someone to kiss, someone to hug, someone to love. She hated to admit it, but maybe she was just too invested in Karma- and now, with this, there was just too many lost feelings trying to bury themselves in Karma. There were a lot of logical explanations; but she was still building up the motivation to tackle them.

That was, until the universe laid it out for her, in the form of a spectacle wearing, origami practising boy named Oliver. He hated protests just as much as she did. He felt just as estranged from their peers as she did. They were, for all intents and purposes- they _should_ be- totally compatible. That was the thought that was all but shrieking at her from in the recesses of her mind- every time she looked at him _"You guys are so ALIKE!"_  
 _  
"He's the kind of boy you've been WAITING for!"_  
 _  
"SHOULD BE SHOULD BE SHOULD BE WILL BE SHOULD BE"_

It horrified her; _should be_. And if it wasn't _being_ , she ought to _make it_ be. (Is this how Karma felt?)

But- and still, fucking _still_ \- that damn universe liked to play around with her. If only they hadn't decided to hang out in the surveillance room. If only they'd chosen an abandoned classroom or hallway instead. Because when she saw the familiar face of her best friend on that screen, guitar in hand, bashfully strumming away- that's when Amy felt the _should be._ And it made her bolt from that chair and leave Oliver without a word- she had a mission, a destination, a _place to be_ \- and that was in the cafeteria, with Karma.

Her Karma, who hated singing in public. And still, she was doing it now and Amy was missing it- how could she be _missing_ it?

Ever since her parents had gifted her with the child-size guitar at age ten, Karma had been reluctant about playing in front of anyone. Sometimes this included Amy. Other times, it didn't. Most times.  
She'd belt out Britney Spears or Madonna or the occasional Pink Floyd, and she only got better over time (all the times Amy had to be backup singer didn't quite fine tune _her_ skill, however). When she'd start writing her own music, the impromptu concerts dwindled down until they no longer existed, but Amy didn't mind, because sometimes Karma would share a song, and, sure, there were no chart-toppers yet, but it was clear as day that it was personal for Karma and Amy liked that. The girl was only getting better at that, too. So having Karma finally swallowing her stage fright and literally climbing a table to belt out something to distract the disgruntled people of Hester?

 _Big_ deal.

So Amy huffed and puffed and _hauled ass_ into that cafeteria.

She, as politely as she could, elbowed through the crowd and pushed her way into the front row where she should be.

 _Should be._

There it was again; her _should be_. It swelled in her chest when she looked up at Karma, watched the way she moved when she sang- sang her... love song. The way she was coming out of her shell, evidently; Amy noticed the way her shoulders slowly began to drop, the tension ebbing out of her every moment nobody was booing her from her makeshift stage.

 _"I've got a secret inside_ ," She sang humbly, eyes meeting Amy's; it was enough to see the relief, the comfort in noticing her best friend's now presence.

 _"It gets so easy to be someone else,_  
 _When I'm with you I don't have to hide,_  
 _When I'm with you I can be myself,"_

Amy wished there was somehow more she could do in this moment. Part of her wished she could reach out and grab her- she wasn't sure where, or how, considering both of Karma's hands were busy strumming the guitar or moving chords- but she wished she could feel the warmth of Karma's skin close to her. The other half of her was too in awe of the situation- the words- the look- of her to really think too much about anything else.

 _"Something changed the moment we kissed,"_

Amy couldn't tell if her heart dropped ten stories freefall or if it had just rocket boosted out of her body completely. _So it wasn't_ just _her. Karma_ felt _it. Karma felt the_ should be.  
And that meant they could figure it out.

 _"I never knew it'd feel like this,"_

Karma smiled at her warmly, Amy couldn't believe it was happening this way.  
But when the other girl looked away, Amy felt a moment of senseless toppling. Why was she looking _away?  
_ Getting onto her tip-toes, Amy tried to follow her friend's line of sight- and, oh yes, there _he_ was. Again. Of course.

 _"We'll keep it hush hush undercover,"_

It had definitely been a rocket boost, she decided. And this was the moment it came crashing back down ten times as fast into the Earth.

 _Congratulations, Amy. You just played yourself._

There was a lump in her throat,

 _"But it's a rush rush being your lover,"_

 _Lover?_

The bodies of all of the peers seemed to be crushing in on her.  
Slowly, like in those horror movies where the walls keep coming in until they crushed the person alive. Taking a sharp, deep breath, she turned back through the crowd. Yes, somebody up there must _really_ hate her. This wasn't how her _should be_ , should be. This wasn't it. It wasn't crashing rockets and it wasn't fighting for scraps and it wasn't all of this God damn confusion. Amy didn't know why she was looking for it here.

And so she huffed and puffed and _hauled ass_ and got the hell out of that cafeteria (ran away), back where she came from.

 _Screw Karma, and screw her ideas, and screw being fake lesbians. If she gets a secret boyfriend, then so do I._

But there was one problem; when she kissed Oliver there was... absolutely nothing. Micro movements of feeling. If Karma was rockets, he was... a popped balloon. It was quick, it was messy, and it could all be summed up as a big disappointment. He was a desperate grab and a pounding heart and plead that maybe she wasn't totally, monumentally, unavoidably- fucked.

She was.

* * *

When she was ten, Farrah had decided she was old enough to not need a babysitter; and she could start staying at home by herself while her mother was working.

"Those Ashcroft's," The woman had sighed fondly, "Bless their hearts, but they don't need to put up with me dumping you on their doorstep so often,"

So she was given a list of things to remember whenever she left: water the plants, lock the door, don't go out without calling, answer the phone... Sometimes her mother would leave something in the microwave for dinner. Sometimes she didn't (And when she didn't Amy would just help herself to some cookies and milk or a bowl of cereal), and she'd eat, by herself in the living room with the TV on and the lights out.

Until one night, while she was eating her Cheerios and watching a documentary on TV about African Wildcats, there came a rapping on the door. Freezing with her spoon in her mouth, Amy slowly put down the bowl of cereal and made her way to the door; standing on her toes to peek through the little eye slot. On the other side; there was Karma, rocking from foot to foot.

Unlocking the door, she stepped aside to let her friend in.

"Your mom should just keep dropping you off at my house for the night," Karma complained, without even greeting. She was toting a black guitar case behind her.

"Well, I have stuff to do now," Amy explained, just as sullenly, "Mom got petunias."

Karma scrunched up her nose, "Well, it's a long walk."

Amy shrugged, gesturing at the black case in her one hand, "What's that?"

Beaming, Karma struggled to zip open the bags as quickly as she could, pulling from it a little brown child's guitar, "Dad got this for me," She strummed over the strings, not creating any chords with her opposite hand. Holding it right even looked like a task for her. "I don't know how to play yet. But- won't this be fun? We can make a band,"

Amy agreed, nodding along- but seeing the guitar had brought some kind of sad nostalgia back to her. It was the first time she'd seen a guitar in person since her dad had left. He used to play; early in the morning, on the back patio, with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and sometimes, a glass of whisky by his feet. Sometimes a bottle.

It drove her mom crazy sometimes, but Amy couldn't understand what it was that he could possibly be doing wrong when she sat up on his knee (tried to. there wasn't really room with the guitar) and he strummed out an Elvis Presley song or some other tune. It was one of the things she liked best about her dad. And even though he couldn't sing for the life of him, he sure could play the guitar.

Naturally, he'd taken that with him when he left. But that didn't mean he didn't leave a few things behind.

"I think I could," Slowly, Amy tried to shake herself out of her melancholia- having a hard time getting the image of her father on the back patio out of her mind, "Help you learn how to play,"

At this, Karma raised a brow skeptically, "You don't know how to play guitar," She stated matter-of-factly.

"No," Amy shuffled her feet forward, as she moved, slowly gaining momentum, "But there's something,"

Her friend followed her wordlessly as Amy went through the living room, dining room, and into the unused office room. It held a few bookshelves, a couple miscellaneous boxes full of Christmas ornaments, and a dust-covered desk. "I don't know where it is," She admitted, looking around at all of the books that had piled up over the years. Cookbooks, children's books, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, a few How-To fix it books... she knew it was in here somewhere.

"What _is_ it, exactly?" Karma questioned, holding her guitar by the neck in one hand- now more interested with the topic at hand than with her new toy.

"It was..." Amy struggled with saying it aloud, even after all these years. She would wring her hands and shuffle her feet and look, side to side, up and down, anywhere but the person she was talking to so that they couldn't see the disappointment that rang behind her eyes. They couldn't see her look weak. She had to keep her composure that yeah, she was fine with it, after all this time she was fine with it now. The time for being sad was done.

She was still sad.

Often.

"my dad's," She finished weakly, only meeting Karma's eyes again after she'd gotten the words out. At the mention of the man, she saw Karma's eyes soften a little, get a little sad, fill with a lot of pity. That's why she hated it.

"Oh," The girl was never really good at providing comfort. But she had her moments. This wasn't really one of them. "You don't have to give it to me, Amy,"

Shaking her head, Amy turned away. Scanning the bookshelves as an excuse to not look at her, that look, "It's okay. No one here uses it."

So they scowered the room until they found it; untouched for many years, but still with a wrinkled spine and worn pages; a book of songs and chords and diagrams. Amy had found it, pulled it from the shelf, and treasured it for a moment in her hand- for a moment it felt right- before she remembered she was trying not to look too long at anything that was once his, so she handed it to Karma.

"Thank you," She said earnestly, running her her hand through the pages.

"You're welcome,"

 _Naturally,_ thinking about it now; Amy couldn't help but feel a senseless grasping at thin air. She wanted it back, for no particular reason. She wanted Karma back. She wanted her to stop worrying about boys and _come back_. And, for a brief moment (followed by a moment of undeniable rage) she wanted her dad back. Senseless. Grasping. She wanted something back that was hers- and she didn't care what. She just wanted to stop losing things, stop giving things away.

And then came the fit. A monstrous cycle that chewed on itself but still somehow only managed to get bigger and bigger. _Why_ did she want things back. _Why_ were things being taken from her. _What_ was being taken from her. _How_ can she get them back. _Can_ she get them back. She _wanted_ them back. She didn't _own_ any of those things. She had no _right._ But still she _wanted_ \- desperately, as a child does- screaming, pounding, kicking, crying- _want want want give me give me give me._

All within a few seconds in which Amy hucked her backpack across her bedroom when she got home.

Stop _wanting._

Mentally, she repeated it until she found herself completely exhausted. Until she was forced to take a seat on the edge of her bed, try to control her breathing, try to focus on something else.

And something else presented itself.

Her bedroom door swung open with such force that it nearly startled her out of her skin. Jumping, Amy's hand instinctively clutched her chest as the breath hitched and it took a moment, sure, but she realized she was staring right at... Shane Harvey?

"Shane?" She half-yelled, the blood still pounding in her ears, "Wha-how? Why? What are you-"

"Lauren let me in," He explained quickly, sounding inexplicably rushed.

Amy's brow furrowed, "That's weird,"

"Begrudgingly," He clarified, shrugging, "But still. I need to talk to you about something,"

Amy resisted the urge to groan, watching him hurry over and then, given his rushed demeanour and anxious tone, took a surprisingly gentle seat next to her. She scooted over slightly to give the boy more room.

"What is it?"

His face fell slightly as he reached out a soft, slow hand for her own. Raising a brow, Amy allowed him to take it. She hoped not to come off too short in her replies, but, she was already feeling a little bit vexed, and Shane drama was the last thing she wanted to put up with right now.

"It's," He took a deep, unsure breath. Amy leaned forward slightly, about to press him on before he finished, "About Karma, actually,"

Of course.

It's _always_ Karma.

Everything involving Amy's life always, seemingly, by some extension, had to do with Karma. She didn't mind. She _really_ minded. She minded so much that she shrank away under his touch and almost wanted to tell him that please, she didn't want to hear it- her mind couldn't take anything more to do with Karma.

But, it was still her best friend, and Amy itched to know as much about her as she could. She wanted to know anything anyone had to say about her. She wanted to measure it up, collect it, soak in it, hoard it.

But her mind was running on empty, and a little bit too much Karma and nothing else might cause her engine to give.

"Oh?" She said, trying to clear the muck from the gutters of her mind. Stay in the present. Stop overthinking.

Shane gave an uncomfortable smile, as though he couldn't believe that he was sitting here with her (Amy was more than a little bit surprised, herself).

"Amy, I don't know how to say this," He started slowly, the smile vanishing, "I'm really-"

"Just say it," She said quickly, trying to give his hand a reassuring squeeze. She wasn't quite sure she had the energy to pull it off, "Honestly, just..."

"Okay," He shut his eyes, "I saw Karma and Liam... they were being really flirty with each other at the protest today,"

 _Oh God, here we go_.

"Like... _really_ flirty. I don't know Karma that well, but, I know Liam... I don't know, Amy, I think... I think she's cheating on you."

She knew it. She knew the whole thing. What Shane didn't understand- was that this was the whole game. The _Karma and Liam game_. This is what drove the whole damn wheel, over and over, the whole charade revolved around this. He had seen. He had figured it out. But not entirely. He was still buying it.

So why did it hurt so much?

Why, when she knew- did it feel like he had just taken a knife and stabbed it into her chest, and was now trying to dig out all of the contents with that very same knife? Why did it make her throat close up? Why did it feel no different than it would had they actually been dating?

Was it only because she heard it from the mouth of another person? Someone who had no idea what was really going on?

Was it because Karma was able to make connections and she wasn't? And she was... _Grasping?_

"We aren't a couple," Amy admits, dryly, letting the words fall flat out of her mouth. Choking back the tears that were starting to burn in her eyes.

Shane gave her a look. One that was very similar to the look she got when she talked about her dad leaving. She held back a sob on account of that look, but felt one, fat tear fall down her left cheek.

"Oh," Shane simpered, "Don't say that, I don't know for sure, and whether or not it-"

"No, Shane," Amy cut him off. He still didn't _get it._ He still didn't understand. This is what Karma got- she got everything she wanted. And this is what Amy got.  
The thought of that made a sob escape her throat, and Shane watched on, in stunned horror, uncertain how to respond. "We aren't a couple," She repeated, frantically trying to wipe the tears as they fell, "Karma and I- we faked it,"

The boy's face crumpled in disappointment, confusion, and several other emotions that Amy couldn't quite process at the moment. "Why?" He whispered.

A thick laugh escaped Amy's chest, "Karma wanted to be popular. She wanted to get the guy," She explained, grimacing, "And I went along with it because I'm _so stupid_ ,"

 _It's funny how a few moments of realization can feel like you're whole life has come crashing down on you._

Shane sighed; he still looked disappointed, but his voice was soft, "Don't say that. I guess it wasn't really you're fault, I was the one that probably gave her the idea when I outed you guys,"

Amy shrugged- she couldn't disagree with that sentiment. But he looked up, brows still furrowed in confusion, "But why are you crying if she's not cheating on you, then?"

And maybe this was it. This was the real coming out moment. She had already revealed perhaps the most fucked up thing she'd ever done- and Shane was still here, not angry, not accusatory. And he would surely to hell understand it more than maybe anyone else would.

"Karma's faking it," Amy said firmly, before dragging the back of her hands over her cheeks once more, trying to build the courage to admit it, admit it to herself, "I don't think I am anymore."

His mouth fell open slightly, forming a shocked 'o'. Amy nodded, confirming the thoughts he must have been thinking as questions fluttered behind his eyes.

"Amy..." He said slowly, reaching out again, "You have feelings for Karma?"

"I think so,"

She had been fighting this revelation since the kiss in the gym. But it _hurt_.

"I didn't realize until..." She trailed off, hoping Shane would be able to pick up where she left off. He did.

"But she...?"

Amy shook her head quickly, throwing her hands into the air, "I don't know. I don't know, Shane- it's all so fucked up,"

"And you haven't talked to her?"

At this, she shook her head even more forcefully. Even the idea of mentioning any of this to her made Amy's stomach flip, "No," She couldn't risk it scaring Karma away. "No I don't know what she feels."

That's a lie. She knew what Karma felt.

"Well, I know she really likes Liam," She couldn't stop the venom in her voice at the mention of his name- and Shane clearly noticed to, with the way he slightly winced, but then nodded understandingly. It certainly didn't take much to figure out why Amy must have held some resentment for the guy. That was clear in the heavy silence that followed the comment- until Shane sprung to his feet, putting his hands on his hips, "Well, hey- chin up," He spoke clearly, confidently, "You may be having Karma struggles- but I am officially at your service to help you through them,"

"Oh, _goodie_ ," Amy said sarcastically, sniffing- the tears were finally slowing down.

"I'm serious," The boy urged, "So, you're questioning?"

 _Questioning_? Amy wasn't sure that's how she would put it. She'd never felt anything for another girl before- not until she kissed Karma. Or since then.

"No, I don't know," It felt as if a heavy weight was starting to push down on her, "I haven't had any other feelings for girls before,"

Shane raised his eyebrows, "Only Karma?"

Amy sighed, putting one hand up to her temple. She definitely felt a headache coming on, "Yeah," She replied miserably, "Only Karma."

The boy stroked his chin- it looked a little too much like scheming for her liking. " _Interesting_ ," He mused, "Well, either way. I'm going to help you through this, Amy. I got you into this mess, after all,"

"Thanks," He meant well. He really did, and she knew that, but she couldn't even begin to think about what helping could possibly entail. Even in the simplest forms. "But, Shane, if you don't mind, I'd like to... be left _alone_ , for a while. I think I need to go to bed- ASAP,"

His eyes softened, but he gave a brisk nod once again, already heading for the door, "Right. Okay. No problem," Stopping in the door frame, he gave one last look over his shoulder, offering a genuine smile, "I hope you know you can talk to me about anything, Amy. We're in this together,"

If " _in this_ " meant playing (or potentially playing) for the homosexual team, then, she affirmed, they were in this together. If _"in this_ " meant Karma, she could only conclude that no, they definitely _were not._ But she was thankful he wasn't being pushy, and his support was stated, and she could turn to him. She really was. But sleep was all she craved. She dropped everything else and stripped, putting on pyjamas, and climbed under her covers. Willing her mind to turn off- to stop replaying her dad's guitar, Karma, kissing, and the interaction that had just happened. It felt like system overload.

* * *

She saw them kiss.

It was in the morning, they were in the same bed, he was topless and she was only in her underwear. It was a nightmare come true. One of his heavy, calloused hands gripping her jaw a little bit too hard and pulling her towards him, but she didn't seem to mind.

It made Amy sick.

Until the bed jolted slightly, and it pulled her from the horrible depths her mind was creating. Groggily, she opened one eye, and saw the pink shirt next to her stirring. Karma must have just been snapped awake from a dream of her own, by the way she jumped.

 _Ironic,_ Amy thought gratefully (although there was still a sour taste in her mouth). But at least it was over now- and that burning image was slowly disappearing from her mind.  
Closing her eyes, Amy drifted off again into another blissful half sleep, if only for a few brief seconds before the bed was wobbling beneath her, as Karma stirred again. She heard a sharp intake of breath.

Opening her eyes, she saw Karma, staring right back at her. Her mouth open slightly, eyes a bit glossed over, and a small crease between her brow. Dazed and shocked.

"What?" Amy asked, trying to read the girls expression, "Do I have eye boogers?"

Karma shook her head, just barely. But she still had that look- why? Frowning, Amy raised one hand to check anyway- but was nearly (very) blindsided by Karma's head moving forward and connecting their lips together, without missing a moment to take Amy's bottom lip between her own.  
And the word popped into her head again: ironic. She had been dreaming of watching Liam kiss Karma and now here Karma was, kissing her? Oh, how the cosmos sure had their ways.

With her heart pumping against her ribs, and her breath hitching against her throat, Karma moved again. Kiss. Slow.

But why?

There was no one around.

Just them-here-now- and Karma was kissing her (not that Amy wasn't loving it).

Blindly, she placed a hand against Karma's shoulder and gently pushed her back. The girl sensed it and pulled away, blinking, "We can stop right now if you want?"

But did Amy want to?

No.

Truthfully, that question wasn't entirely what she thought she would hear. She expected an explanation of sorts.

 _That_ was what she wanted.

But how would one casually bring that up without sounding like a douche? (" _Why are you kissing me?" "What was that about?")_

It would totally kill the mood (the one Amy hated to admit was building somewhere below the belt). And, maybe- actually, definitely- she wanted that more than a stupid answer. There would be time to ask questions later. There was only one right now in this moment to enjoy.

And Amy found herself shaking her head, "No," She whispered, barely audible, and reached out for Karma's (smirking) face again. Needless to say, the girl met her halfway. She cupped her jaw much more gently than fucking _dream Liam_ did- yes, the same hand she thought she would be picking her eye boogers with only moments ago, but she tried not to think about that as she ran her fingers through the roots of Karma's hair, pulling her closer. Amy couldn't get close enough. Her body rolled in waves against Karma's, desperately trying to cling to her, desperately looking for skin on skin contact-

She inhaled sharply, waking herself.

 _Fucking Inception._

And _God damn it_ why was she dreaming of Karma like this- _way to make it 'round the clock torture, brain._ She didn't want this (she wanted it _so_ bad), she didn't need this extra hassle (or maybe she really did), and she really, really, _really_ didn't want to feel guilty about it. She was _Karma_. Her _best friend_. Not the person she should be dreaming about dry humping (and she shouldn't be _enjoying_ it).

Smacking her alarm clock off of her night stand, Amy sat up, burying her head in her hands.

She needed to get this under control. _Herself,_ under control. This fantasizing was not okay. But how could she get something under control that somehow managed to worm it's way into her most mundane thoughts? Her shame built itself up on a pedestal next to a few happy childhood memories, now prodding at her, _"how could you think of her like this, hmm? You've known her since preschool, she trusts you, and you're dreaming about getting off to this girl? How about this preschool version of her?"_

No, no, no she didn't want to.

Maybe she was just... sexually deprived?

Even thinking those words made her shudder, feel _dirty._

She'd always had a problem thinking about sex. It made her squirm, even the idea of it felt invasive, made her feel like she needed to scrub her skin and wish she could somehow get into her head to rinse out her mind.

But still... sometimes... sometimes she found herself looking at a person, at their hands, their lips, and she wondered how it would feel against her skin. In intimate settings.

Sometimes she thought about it, and then she felt dirty, because these were strangers and she would never trust them with something so fragile and vulnerable with such a... messy, and potentially emotionally devastating act. People can ruin people. And it just gets more complicated when sex is involved- she didn't have to have it to know that much.

Maybe... maybe she was just thinking of Karma this way because she was the only one Amy trusted whole heartedly. Without a question. And maybe that kiss in the gym just... mixed things up. And now Karma was the only person she could project those feelings onto.  
Maybe she just needed to stay the hell away, and those feelings would leave.

* * *

Amy was pulling away.

Karma's mother may have told her on a few passing occasions that she needed to be more " _observant"_ , but, hell, she was _observing_ this. It wasn't in the words, it wasn't in the actions, it wasn't in the text messages- it was in all of those little spaces in between. In all of those words, actions, and texts that _weren't_ happening.

Karma may have been slow to pick up the chips, but who could blame her? She didn't see _jealous_ Amy that often. Amy was humble. Jealousy wasn't really her forte- for the most part, when necessary, that was Karma's thing. So, yeah- she didn't see it at first, but now she felt like she couldn't unsee it.

And what had made her notice?

The very person Karma knew Amy had that jealousy for, deep down, hidden under layers and layers of goodness and a strong will; Lauren.

They were still together a lot. As the days and eventually weeks mumbled by- their ruse was beginning to die down; the excitement was gone. Karma didn't like that. She would admit it- if they weren't causing a scene, what was the point of "dating"? The hard truth was that if they split now that the flame started to burn out, the whole thing could easily be shrugged off for the publicity stunt that it was. And that wouldn't be good news- for either of them. It was the unspoken knowledge that rest between them, and so, they continued.

"You won't believe it," Amy eventually muttered (bitterly) after a long silence had ensued the first half of their lunch together. Karma had been waiting for it; she could tell that there was something brewing under her best friend's skin.

"Believe what?" She raised her eyebrows, as if she wasn't expecting some kind of drama.  
Amy took a deep breath, and sat up a bit straighter, placing her fork down against her lunch tray as she did so. That told Karma that she was serious. "My mom," She started, grinding her teeth, "Guess what she got Lauren?"

"A Prada bag?" She inquired, only half joking.

Amy's blue eyes fixed somewhere into the distance, at nothing, "No," Her eyes shifted slightly, as though she realized just how envious she was being, "She got her a weekend trip to that Hot Springs Spa place- whatever it's called,"

"Oh?"

Amy nodded, picking up her fork again, and stabbing it into her green beans a few times, "Yup. For the both of them. They can go off and get the luxury treatment- I get to water the petunia's,"

And that's when it clicked; watching her mindlessly, angrily, jab the little plastic fork into the beans, not quite picking them up, not eating them. Except there was a small difference; Amy was jealous of _Lauren,_ so she could talk about it. She was jealous that her mother had decided to pamper her step daughter instead of her own- but she knew the spa wasn't the part that Amy was mad about, no- it was the fact that she didn't even get an invite. And, knowing Farrah; not even the time to question her and see if she would like to go with them.

But this time- she was jealous of _Karma._

But Amy, being the good person she is- wouldn't say anything about it. Wouldn't want to bother her or ruin anything, and so she would let it sit and fester in her head until she either got over it or blew up. That's the kind of person Amy was.

But God- figuring it out made Karma feel useless. She would suddenly notice Amy shift- start responding in short sentences, or make an excuse to leave- sometimes she'd avoid eye contact. She knew it must've been killing her.

Amy doesn't _do_ jealousy and she definitely doesn't _do_ guilt.

That was something they had in common.  
T  
he guilt part.

She felt bad that Amy was jealous. She'd tried to help Amy out- with that picture she posted of them on Instagram kissing in the courtyard. Religiously, Karma had scrolled through the feed of every boy who liked the photo- every boy who'd commented with a heart or heart eyes or a tongue or anything really, before Karma realized that it was hopeless and Amy was _far_ too picky.

Yet still, every time Karma was with Liam she felt a little nibble- heard a little trumpet- of guilt in the back of her mind. Because she was here, with him, and she was alone- and obviously she was sad about it. But Karma wasn't sure what to do- she wasn't even sure about how she could bring it up to her.

So, she thought maybe the right thing to do would be to " _tone it down"._ This idea occurred somewhere in the week where Karma had noticed Amy and Shane becoming close, whispering a lot, and just honestly being a little bit too friendly for her liking. (Karma didn't mind Shane, but, she'd be lying if she ever said she liked him. Something about him made her think the guy was bad news- Liam's best friend or not,).

 _Girls night._

The words _lesbian,_ and _Liam-_ would both be off the table. Like old times. Karma even turned her phone off- even if it was torture not to know what little messages from Liam could have been zipping through cyberspace and landing in her phone.

It may have been the weekend of her mom's bridal shower- which, _in hindsight_ \- Karma could admit may have been bad timing. But in the moment, she thought Amy would need her support present; what with Farrah and Lauren's blooming friendship (Super weird).  
This is why Karma shouldn't have been so surprised when a pouting Amy returned up the stairs into the bedroom after a snack run. She dropped the few granola bars, water bottles, and other miscellaneous items onto the bed before silently sitting down next to her. It was a far different demeanour than the one she had when she'd left the room, not five minutes ago.

"What?" Karma asked, scooting towards her slightly, "What's the matter?"

"I hadn't realized," Amy said, her voice dripping with shame, "that there was so much stuff that needed to be done. And, again, Lauren beat me to it,"

There was a brief moment in which Karma's mind had to pedal to keep up and understand that the blonde was referring to the bridal shower. And, suddenly, she felt guilty that she had drug Amy into having a girls night away from her mom just to keep her from being mad about the whole situation. It had only made her feel worse.

"Well," She started, not sure what words she could use to give her comfort. Inhaling through her nose, Karma placed a reassuring hand on Amy's knee, "Did your mom _ask_ you to do anything?"

She felt Amy pause, stiffen slightly, before shaking her head.

"Then you can't blame yourself for not doing more," She tried to smile, hoping that her friend would see that it was all okay, that she shouldn't be beating herself up so much. She would just be miserable running wedding errands, "If she isn't going to ask anything from you, Amy, then what more can you do?"

The girl inhaled deeply- it always shocked Karma to see her when she was down. It was as if she was trying to shrink into herself, the way her shoulders hunched forward and her head hung low. "Well," She mumbled, unenthused, "She _did_ ask us to go with Lauren tomorrow to get the croqembouche,"

 _Go with Lauren to..._ "Get the what?"

"Croqembouche," Amy repeated, sighing, "Some stupid dessert that all the celebrities eat- apparently,"

She was dejected. That much was clear- and being locked in a car with Lauren was the last thing either of them wanted, she was sure, but- it had to be done. And support is what Karma was here for.

"Oh," Karma said brightly, perking up, "A _croqembouche_. Okay, well, we'll make the most of it,"

* * *

If making the most of it consisted of Amy and Lauren getting into an argument ten minutes into the car ride (Lauren may have egged it on, but Karma totally couldn't deny that Amy had started it.), then making the most of it was what they did. Karma had sat through the whole thing, holding her tongue, unsure how to proceed over such hostile ground. So, like a total dork, her first thought at solace was twenty questions. That didn't go over so well, but, it sort of worked so Karma figured she could chalk it up as a small win.

Arriving at the bakery felt like seeing heaven's very gates in front of her- only to get out and find them locked with the magical croqembouche hidden away inside. A moment of despair Karma felt but tried hard not to act upon- seeing the smug expression cross Amy's face from the front seat. However, when Lauren tilted her head back and let out a (literal) scream of frustration- she and Amy were on the same page, which was trying hard not to burst in laughter. Oh, the horror. The irony. Watching Lauren throw herself into complete meltdown mode outside of the bakery.

"It's not funny!" She screeched when she'd noticed their expressions- hands in her hair, "What am I supposed to do? Farrah is counting on me to bring her a dessert, and I promised a croqembouche. I talked _all day,_ about _the croqembouche!_ " She cast a desperate look backwards at the bakery, "What am I going to do? I'm the maid of honour for Christ sakes, I can't..."

At this, Karma's giggles were cut short as an intake of breath swept over her.

And her heart broke for Amy.

Amy in the front seat, her hands suddenly gripping the centre console. Her mouth twisted into some kind of look of pain- and Karma knew that this was news to her. Lauren being the maid of honour for her own mother's wedding must've been a hard blow. She tried to imagine what it would be like if her parents had solely chosen Zen to be a large part of their wedding- how it would feel if she had been entirely neglected in such an exciting event. It would be awful. The idea of it made her toes curl in her shoes- and then, she wondered what it would be like if all that had happened and if somehow, her parents only knew Zen for about a year before that.

Yeah, that would sting a little.

But what was currently stinging her was that she had no clue what to do. What she could say, with Lauren only feet away, that would make Amy feel better. She was coming up short, and she knew it was her obligation to do something- and soon, because she could see Amy mentally start spinning herself on an axis.

(Eyes shifting upwards repeatedly, as if she was trying to keep herself from crying. Jaw clenching. Fingers gripping. These were the little signs of danger.)

Desperately, she reached forward, towards Amy's hand on the console, and placed it over top of her friends. Amy looked at her out of the side of her eye, softening slightly, before lifting it out from under Karma's and instead entwining them together.

Karma let her squeeze.

She owed her that much.

If she couldn't help Amy with words, then she could be the vice that holds her together- no matter how hard Amy crushed her fingers between her own.

* * *

It didn't end there.

It ended in absolute _horror._

Amy had destroyed the croqembouche.

And she had been sent to her room for the remainder of the bridal shower. So, by default, Karma was sent to her room, too (Not that she minded. Hanging out with Lauren and Farrah after the disaster seemed even more awkward than hanging out with an angry dry-heaving Amy).

"It's okay," She repeated to her friend, whom was pacing laps around her room, for about the sixtieth time since they had been exiled. "I know it kind of... _Got to you,_ but it's going to blow over, it'll be totally fine. Just,"  
Karma scooted forward on the bed, getting dizzy from watching the girl do so many rounds. She reached out helplessly, trying to catch one of Amy's hands in her own, "Maybe don't pull a stunt like that at the actual wedding if you ever want to see the light of day again,"

But her friend was still lost in extreme thought. Karma wasn't entirely sure if whether or not she was actually registering anything that she was staying to her- so she would keep rambling until something actually went through. "Don't think yourself into a coma, okay? Would you look at me?"

At this, Amy's steps faltered into a clumsy stop, and she did what was asked of her. The crease disappearing between her brows, only to be replaced by some expression that may have actually been worse.

"Karma?" She asked, just above a whisper, "Why do I ruin _everything all the time?_ "

Something tugged at her heartstrings to see Amy- _her_ Amy- so defeated. "You don't," She leaned forward some more, still reaching for her friend. Now she noticed this as well, and gently, Amy took the hand and allowed Karma to guide her to the bed. "You don't ruin everything, Amy. Why do you think that?"

Amy sniffed audibly, taking in a sharp breath, "I'm just..." She trailed off, her eyes glossing over, "I don't know, Karms. I always fuck everything up,"

"You don't," She insisted again- she hated seeing Amy cry. _Hated_ it. Every time Amy cried, so would Karma.

"Sometimes I just get so angry," The girl pulled her hands to her chest, shrinking again. She shook her head, "And then I fuck things up. It happens all the time,"

"You don't," She wasn't sure what else to tell her. Karma had realized in getting older that it was very very difficult to convince someone of something once they had already convinced themselves. Her mom always said that the worst enemy anyone would ever have would be themselves- she tried to think about that, whenever she started beating herself up. She couldn't be _that_ bad. A flawed person that is loved is not a flawed person. "Stop saying that,"  
T  
he girl sniffed again, and then sighed, wiping the back of her hand across her nose childishly. "I have snot," Amy mumbled, voice still heavy with sadness. But she wasn't attacking herself anymore- which was the most Karma could ask for.

She smiled through the tears she hadn't noticed had begun burning in her own eyes, "I don't care," Warmly, she threw her arms around her friend, knocking them against the sheets. Amy laughed thickly; Karma felt her chest rising and falling under her, and she couldn't help but giggle, too.

This is what they needed.

"I'm sorry girls weekend was such a bust," Amy apologized, as though they were sharing some of the same thoughts.

"It wasn't a bust," She assured her, patting her shoulder fondly- head still resting against her chest, "I always have fun when I'm with you. Stupid croqembouche, though,"

"Yeah," She could hear the smile in Amy's voice, "Stupid croqembouche."


	5. Wish

**This chapter was supposed to be a lot longer. But I've been so busy lately, I thought I'd split it into two so that I could at least get a little something up. Thank you so much to those who follow and the support! I really do love Karma and Amy's dynamic, the possibilities to explore are endless. As always, if you like, review, follow, favourite! If you have any theories in mind or anything you'd like to see, let me know ;) I love reading them.  
**

* * *

Everybody has a few personality defects. Some people have more than others. Or maybe, Amy thinks, some defects are just so much more noticeable than others- but maybe everyone is equally fucked up.

And then she thinks about murderers.

Okay, so maybe everyone isn't _equally_ fucked up.

But the point still stands; everyone has a few rusty parts, a few dented visions, a few chipped pieces.  
Everybody in the world comes at some point to suffering, she knows this, well and true. And some people get better from it, while others never quite recover.

"It's a mean world, Amy," Her father had told her, so long ago that she couldn't quite distinguish how old she may have been. But his breath was rancid with the scent of alcohol and her mother was there, scolding him, "What the hell are you doing? What are you doing?"

When she was a bit older, maybe twelve, she found a cold humour in a repeated message being spewed to her from the woman. "Sometimes it's a cruel world. But there's  
nothing you can do about it, Amy. So try not to let it get to you,"

So maybe she was never sheltered.

She understood that everybody wore bruises under their skin, the ones the hurt if you poked at them, the soft spots in the flesh of the mind that broadcasted the pain, and how you reacted. Amy tried not to think about the hurt, everyone's hurt- and it was easy to look past it, really. Because they were burdens. To carry someone else's pain on top of your own wasn't necessary. Survival was necessary.

And you can only take so many bruises.

But there were a few Amy didn't mind letting in. They didn't hurt much. They just made her understand better. But sometimes it made her sad if she really thought about it; it was like a bad habit of hers, the thinking- more specifically, the thinking herself into a mild to moderate depression.

The croqembouche disaster did, as Karma promised, blow over much faster than she expected.  
Well, maybe not entirely; but it was swept under the rug enough for it to never be mentioned again, and instead she was treated with short answers and exasperated sighs and rushed dismissals.  
She wasn't sure what was worse. But she was at least glad that she wasn't getting yelled at.

And so Amy let Farrah and Lauren bond. She watched them discuss flowers. She didn't offer any suggestions or opinions; she ate her dinner in silence at the table and instead took her breakfast into her bedroom and ate by herself. She texted Karma. Karma texted back. Everything was okay.  
Swallowing her feelings meant she had to acknowledge them- and Amy could do that, but it still didn't feel quite real. Shane didn't prod too much- he left her alone, which was alright. She wasn't sure if she needed help.

Of course, she still hated the sight if Liam- and although she was trying to condition herself not to, ( _Just accept this, it's okay, Karma can make her own choices_ ,) but it wasn't seeming to do her much good.

Her life was quickly becoming a wash of many greys and fluttering heartbeats and while Karma was wonderful (and horrible) everything else was so God damn mundane.

"Geeze, Aims," Karma had remarked one day between classes, reaching out to gently rest the back of her hand against Amy's forehead, "Are you sick?"

"No," Amy replied, allowing Karma to do what she will, "I don't think so,"

There was still a crease of worry between her brows as she dropped her hand, mouth twisting, "Have you been sleeping okay?"

Amy shrugged, "Fine, I think."

"You look exhausted,"

"You really know how to flatter a girl," She joked, smiling. Karma's worry was like an antidote in itself. Which made her wonder just how sick _that_ meant she was.

At this, the girl rolled her eyes, linking their arms together- she leaned into Amy. "Zen's coming home soon, he's been in Brazil,"

Zen.

If Lauren was Amy's mortal enemy by relation- Zen was Karma's. And he may have been her older adopted brother, but the two got along about as well as the Axis and Allies. But- who could blame Karma? He _was_ awful, and while her parents were just too sweet and eccentric to see that their adopted son was really a douchelord of epic proportions (he even beat Liam- by a long shot), it was clear to Amy, and Karma, and she'd hope just about everyone else. One of her earliest memories of him was when they were very young- perhaps just blooming in their friendship- and he had repeatedly knocked Karma into the sandbox just because. And then he took their Barbies and broke their arms off, chastising them about how stupid they were. He was a destructive bully as a child, and had only grown to be some kind of self-righteous, arrogant, self-involved dick.

Amy could share just a little bit of her best friend's despair upon his return.

"I see," Amy sympathized, holding onto her a bit tighter.

"Mmm-hmm. So, expect me to be hiding out at your house a bit more often?" She said this last part as a question, as though to hint to the undoubtedly infamous croqembouche incident. Karma was, by some means, guilty by association- but her mom didn't really roll that way to hold a grudge. If Karma wasn't going to be allowed over- it would have more to do with Amy than with Karma herself.

"I'll prepare Netflix and stock on snacks," She promised in return- even though she wasn't sure if she would be able to keep it.

"I don't know when," Karma clarified, "All he said on the phone was that he'd be home _'soon_ '. Classic Zen- that could mean a month, two months- a week," She threw a lock of hair over her shoulder, "The longer the better,"

"I'm sure he's not terribly missed," Amy mused- just as the _gong_ sounded from the PA. Karma sighed, breaking away from her, "Not at all. I'll see you next block,"

"Have fun in geometry," Amy bid- knowing full well that she would, because she shared the class with Liam. She felt a bitterness in letting her friend go, but she swallowed that, pressing a smile as she waved her off.  
Zen may have been terrible, but if he presented an opportunity to have Karma spending more time with Amy, she found herself plucking at a very shameful piece of selfish gratitude.  
She would do what she could do, for now. And she would be happy about it.

* * *

"Threesome," Karma proposed confidently, one sunny Saturday afternoon. They had just finished picking up iced coffees from that new place a few blocks from Karma's house, and were in the middle if walking back, when the bomb had dropped from her mouth and (once again) Amy choked when she had been in the middle of swallowing.

" _Pardon_?" She croaked, "What about a threesome?"

"That's what I'm saying," Karma spoke more slowly now, as if to emphasise every word- as if she very well knew this may be the proposal that broke everything up, because it was insane, and she _knew that_ , and Amy _knew that she knew that_ because _how could she not_ , "Just hear me out,"

"You seriously want me to hear you out about a threesome?"

This was far from _typical_ Karma behaviour. But it was over the top- much like Karma, so maybe she should have seen something like this coming, which frustrates her all the more. "Karma-"

"No- give me like, two minutes," Karma cuts her off, pleading. Amy feels her fingers grasp her cup a bit tighter. But she would let her proceed- if not just so that she could entirely, clearly, shoot down the idea afterwards. She knew how Karma worked; she needed to feel like she'd gotten her point across before accepting any criticism.

Breathing in deeply through her nose, Amy gives a brisk nod, "Fine. Proceed,"

"Okay," Karma jumps on her chance to explain, "So, we're a couple, yeah? But then there's me and Liam. We can't keep all of this a secret forever,"

No, Amy agreed, they sure couldn't. She was at least glad that Karma had clued into that much.

"But- think of it this way; we have the totally _scandalous_ threesome. You and I breakup,"

" _Ouch_ ," Amy stated aloud, without really meaning to. Karma gave her am indiscernible look from the corner of her eye- Amy jumped back into her footsteps, "Harsh way to breakup with your girlfriend, Karms,"

"Listen;" She continued to urge, holding up both of her hands as if she meant no harm, "this threesome would be the perfect excuse for something that went too far- got too weird- giving us _couple gasoline_ to throw onto the fire of our burning relationship,"

Double ouch. She kept that one more to herself. Talk about _brutal_.

"But that way, people wouldn't be so surprised when Liam and I get together."

Even the hypothetical treatment of their totally fake relationship seemed to dig at Amy's heart. Was she being too sensitive? That was... cruel, wasn't it?

"No," She muttered, feeling a little bit personally attacked, "Absolutely not."

Karma's face fell, but not by much; she clearly wasn't holding out much hope that this plan would work. Good. Because hell would have to freeze over before Amy would ever in her right mind agree to that. Not to mention- the other girl obviously didn't think it through- she would be _villainized_ by Hester's entire population. She could see it now; _Karmy_ threesome plus Liam, Karmy break up, _Kliam_. _Poor, Amy._ What a sham of the Homecoming Queen.

Although, with the acidic way Karma had talked about the operation of their breakup- and Amy in general, actually- she kind of welcomed that thought. B _itter. Petty. Calm down, Amy._

"Okay," Karma murmured, sticking the straw of her iced coffee into her mouth, and continuing down the street in silence.

There were a few (many) things that bothered her about this. But Amy was able to chop down all of the confusion and befuddlement and the- _honestly-_ mild anger she felt about the situation to a few key, baffling questions.

First, had Karma considered the fact that a threesome would require Liam seeing _her,_ as in _Amy_ , naked? _Entirely_ naked. (Was Amy really that little of a threat?) And, Lord help her for even thinking this- but it would also likely entail kissing and sexual touching between the two of them?

Had she not even considered what losing her virginity might mean to Amy? Because no, she wasn't about to throw it away on some trashy threesome so that Karma could use it as leverage to somehow clean up the mess she had made in the first place. Again- not that it would _clean_ anything, but Amy supposed that this evidently meant that Karma hadn't thought it all the way through.

Had Karma recently suffered a head injury that Amy was unaware of?

And, lastly, much like the first point in trouble; had the other girl considered that a threesome meant that _she and Amy_ would have to kiss? There could be, perhaps, intimacies that the two of them had never even thought of exploring together.

( _Ring ring, it's your conscience calling Amy; what about that dream?_ )

Okay, so, maybe it had very vaguely crossed Amy's mind. But not much.

There was no way that Karma had thought out this threesome plan and not jumped to that conclusion- right? It was like basic knowledge, wasn't it?

* * *

"You're kidding me," Shane gawked- his complexion already looked like it was glowing from the delicious dish of drama he had just soaked up.

Amy's thoughts had been a nonstop loop ever since their walk home from the coffee shop- two days ago. It was killing her.

There was no way Karma could have premeditated such an idea without it crossing her mind. Did it really not bother her?

"Sadly, no," Amy mumbled; the boy already seemed like he wouldn't be much help. Instead she'd just given him a feast on what he loved most, "I'm just really... _astounded._ "

"Nice choice of word,"

"Thanks."

"But you said..?"

"No!" Amy said loudly, throwing her hands into the air, "Obviously."

Shane raised his own hands in defense, taken aback by the sharpness of Amy's tone, "Geeze, I was just checking."

She shook her head, helplessly slumping into her hands once again, "I just don't understand, Shane. To even suggest that, I mean, she had to have _thought_ about it, wouldn't she?"

Something glimmered behind his eyes, as though this was something he hadn't yet contemplated. And the thought of that must have been _absolutely juicy_ by the way his eyes were gleaming.  
Amy wasn't even sure why she came to him for advice. She was starting to think that she had only begun running to Shane because he was- literally- the only other person she could go to. Going to her mom or Lauren about her threesome troubles?

Yeah, right.

And obviously Karma was out of the picture on that one, as well.

"No," The boy finally replied slowly, resting his elbows on the courtyard table between them and taking a thoughtful pause, "You're right. There's no way she looked that over,"

It was a relief to know she wasn't overthinking it entirely, "Thank you," She sighed- but the satisfaction felt terribly short-lived. It may have been a confirmation, but it was no answer. "I just don't see where she could've come from with that whole idea, you know?"

Shane nodded.

"It is just something so left field for her to pitch- _even_ for Karma," She wished Shane knew Karma a bit better so that he could really understand the gravity of how bizarre the entire situation was. "A threesome would mean _me, her,_ and _Liam._ All of us. _Naked._ All at once,"

Shane grimaced, waving a hand in front of her face, "No visuals needed, thanks. I get the picture."

"Right. Sorry," Amy shook her head, as if she could clear the fog from it, "But how could she miss that?"

"There's no way." He repeated again, that mischievous little smirk making it's way back onto his face, "You want to know what I think?"

"Please," Any and all advice was needed.

Shane leaned forward, coyly looking from side to side as though to make sure no one was eavesdropping on their conversation (all for effect), "I don't think," He whispered, "She would have brought it up if she didn't feel _something_ for you, Amy,"

There was suddenly a heat in her cheeks; she quickly averted her gaze with him, to avoid getting redder. It was what she dreaded wanting to hear. But she was so glad he said it. Oh, so _painfully_ glad.

"Something," He continued, taking a tactful hesitation, before shrugging, and leaning away again, resuming a normal tone, "well, at least _questioning_ something sexual. Sounds to me like a great excuse,"

"You think so?" Her breath hitched in her chest- she felt flustered, in the best way.

He gives a firm nod, "Oh, yeah. It's textbook,"

Textbook? She thought of Karma- and her obsession over Liam, and she couldn't quite buy in on it. Not entirely. It would be _too_ convenient, too good to be true.

"So what should I do?" She asked anyway- she had a gut feeling that she wouldn't like the answer.

To this, Shane's lips curled deviously, "Surprise her," He nonchalantly brushes some lint off of his shoulder, "Tell her you've reconsidered. Use it as an oppurtunity to see how she feels,"

"But," Her mouth seemed to dry up a little bit, "Liam," Even the thought of him naked- let alone potentially having his grubby hands touch her body- or, even worse- watching him rub his grubby hands all over Karma's body was daunting. The furthest possible thing from a good time.

He waved his hands, "Don't think about that too much. You can always back out,"

Amy raised her brows questioningly, " _During?_ After I can't unsee some of the things I may see?"

He rolled his eyes, "Yes, during. If you don't want to see anything request a blindfold,"

She frowned at the thought, trying to throw that mental image out of the window. Shane sighed, and rose from his seat, "Think about it. I'm just giving advice. But I have to run- I've got yoga in five,"

"Okay," She murmurs, "See you."

 _When God closes a door,_ she finds herself thinking as she watches Shane saunter away, _he opens a window._

And this window he was opening was surrounded in neon and had a waiting threesome on the other side.

But maybe Shane was right; it was so nice to hear it from someone else and not her own mind. Karma wouldn't have suggested it if she wasn't in some way attracted, or at least wondering if she was or not. And Amy would take what she could get. It was just too bad the situation was so damn unappealing.  
However... It could be the only chance she gets.  
Sighing, she gathers up some of the candy garbage wrappers that had accumulated around her in the storytelling. She probably had a class she ought to get to, as well.

"Hey, you!" A chipper voice exclaims, wrapping one arm around Amy's waist and pulling her into a sort of half-embrace.

Amy jumps, nearly dropping her wrappers all over the concrete, "Hi!" She responds quickly, her voice rising an octave in her surprise.

Here it is. Her window, ready, waiting for her.

"Are you ditching trig?" Karma inquires, slowly releasing Amy from the grasp. She immediately misses the contact, but takes a deep, grounding breath through her nose.

"When am I not ditching trig?" _Try to play it cool. Try to play it cool._

So much for thinking time.

She steals a moment before turning to face her friend, wincing for a moment as the single word exits her mouth, "Hey,"

Karma's face is full of interest, eyebrows upwards and eyes wide. Amy has to take another breath- avoiding any possible glimpse at her mouth as she could. This may have ended in an intense staredown, "So I was thinking,"

Karma cocks her head slightly, "Uh-huh?"

Amy forces herself to blink, look around a little bit, try to act like what she was about to say _wasn't_ a big deal. How could she go about this without... coming across like she was caving? "Let's have a threesome!"

Good one, genius.

You see, it wasn't so often that Amy admitted (even to herself) that she was doing something so profoundly stupid. She didn't find herself in a lot of situations that would call for the term "profoundly stupid", actually. She liked to stay away from those. Observe them more than partake.

But this one really took the cake.

She watched as several emotions crossed Karma's face- the most prevalent of those being bafflement, trying to keep whatever cool she managed to fake.  
The worst part was when Karma accepted.

That was the moment Amy realized she'd been hoping that Karma would throw her hands up, yell " _Psyche!_ " or, " _Gotcha_!" or, even a less enthusiastic, " _Amy, I was kidding_ ," but none of that came. It kind of made her feel nauseous all over again.

* * *

 _You're doing this for Karma_ , she'd repeated to herself for the duration of the day- casting nervous looks over at her best friend, who was often preoccupied staring at Liam, or into space; probably thinking about Liam.

When Karma dragged her along to meet with him- she'd repeated it to herself even louder, as she stared at the boy's features and could only think of the disgusting sex face he must have.

"Bring condoms," She'd told him, because the last thing she needed was either one of them ending up with a Baby Booker in the oven.

The less- but somehow equally- worrying part was the immediate lingerie shopping that her friend has insisted.

"I don't understand," Amy complained, following her best friend through the various aisles of sexed up mannequins, "Just because we're having a threesome- why does that mean we have to wear lingerie?"

"I don't know," She responded, a little bit sharply, "Haven't you ever seen porn?"

Amy felt the heat rise to her cheeks thinking about it, "No,"

Karma stopped in front of a mannequin, glancing over her shoulder, face dropping a little bit. As if she had (she totally _did_ ) indirectly admitted that she had watched porn.  
(Maybe even threesome lesbian porn?)

"Oh." Blinking, the girl kept moving, attempting to cover-up that slip, "Well, I don't know, Aims. It's sexy,"

"We're already going to be having sex," Amy muttered, staring at the freaky-kinky chain lingerie that embroidered a nearby mannequin. It looked like it would chaff nipples. There was _no way_ it could be comfortable, "What the hell needs to be sexier? Buddy should just be glad he's getting laid,"

"Fine," Karma held up a hand, "It's for _ambience,_ "

"Can't we just light candles?"

Sighing, Karma raised her hands in defeat, "Fine. You don't have to buy lingerie, Amy,"

" _Thank_ you," Because spending eighty dollars on 'ambience' so that grubby Booker can put his sausage hands all over her- and probably manage to sloppily break the clasps or something- wasn't worth it, she didn't think. However, if Karma was so gung ho about wasting her money, then who was Amy to stop her?

(The voice of reason, maybe?)

So Amy loitered around the store a bit longer, forcing herself not to care about Karma oohing and aahing about the various different garter belts and corset tops. Uncomfortably picking at her cuticles, the longer she stood around, the more she felt like the faceless mannequins were judging her, pressuring her into thinking _"It's only sex, Amy. Why so uptight?"_

Especially the one with the blue fluffy bra, and skimpy little see through undies. Ironically, Victoria's Secret just had to pick angels to advertise their dirty deeds- taking something with so much chastity and then exploiting it, it felt.

And were one of those girls on the walls virgins?

No, probably not.

They were all too good looking, let's be honest. Amy thought about the _Liam Booker's_ that must have acquainted themselves with those girls, only to forget about them- remember them solely as maybe, something along the lines of; _that hot chick from calculus class._ Or _hot chick from that one party._ And then, years later, see them in some ad or some commercial flaunting their wings and their damn lingerie, and the name comes back to them; forever allowing them to gloat, " _Hey, I slept with that one Victoria's Secret Angel in high school,"_

Must have been quite the ego boost, for an already (likely) overrated douche in cargo shorts.

"Amy," The voice cut through the air and slapped her out of her reverie. She tore her eyes away from the girl on the wall (just then realizing she'd been off in space while staring at the rack of Candice Swanepoel), "Come look at this with me,"

"Huh?" She blinked, still trying to catch up to the present, as Karma was grabbing her hand and dragging her along to the dressing rooms.

"Okay, I'm changing," The girl told her, firmly planting her friend on the other side of the door, "I'll let you in when it's on. I'm going to need your opinion,"

She felt one significantly stronger pang in her heart, as Karma hastily shut the door, and Amy came to the realization that she was about to be smack-dab in front of her friend, in lingerie, asking for an opinion. Amy would have to make sure she had use of her tongue- and she wasn't so thrown off the tracks to give herself away.  
 _And_ , she told herself firmly, _no boob staring._

The sound of the lock on the dressing room door being undone made her breath hitch again, and she almost rushed in at the sound. But she had to stop herself, wait for the authorization for her to enter; because barging in at that tiny, almost inaudible sound, might have given things away a little bit.

Karma peeked her head out of the door, grinning shyly, "Okay, come tell me what you think,"

Amy wasn't sure how she would respond if she hadn't recently come to the awkward sexual confusion, so she said nothing, keeping her head low as she gently pushed open the door, and her friend stepped aside to make more room.

The two of them in one stall was definitely a tight fit.

And the corset that Karma had chosen was _definitely_ a tight fit. But in all the right places. Accentuating the curves around her waist and lifting her breasts, it fit snugly, as, Amy was sure, it was intended to.  
She had to avert her eyes quickly before they caught onto the cleavage for just a little bit too long, instead finding Karma's face, which was full of uncertainty but a certain kind of hopefulness- but, under it all, Amy couldn't miss the smallest hints of insecurity as her eyes darted around and her smile lifted and fell, and lifted- knowing that she was exposing herself in a new kind of light that no one, and that included Amy (but she wished it had- a little bit sooner) had ever seen.

"It looks really good," She said reassuringly, yearning to see the hesitancy gone from her eyes, "I like that it's, you know, it's not too showy- but it's still got that sexy thing going on," She blurbed, pointing at the corset, "Look at that bow. That's cute, I really like that. It's not, you know, like too much- but it's still very, uhm," She mentally grasped for another word, apart from using _sexy_ again- Karma's eyes were searching her, the smile spreading slowly over her face, " _Bold,_ I guess. But in a good way. It looks like it'll be easy to shimmy out of, if that's uh- needed. I guess it will be," She felt the heat in her cheeks rise, "Uh, yeah, I like it. It's nice. Is it expensive?"

Amy felt her eyes wanting to wander, take it all in again, but she tried her hardest to keep them meeting Karma's. The girl shrugged, "It's all kind of expensive. But this one's on sale,"

"Oh. Well, that's a bonus,"

The other girl still appeared indecisive, she sighed heavily, "You think Liam will like it?"

The name being used in such an (almost. _Not really)_ intimate pairing of the two of them sent an unexpected rush of anger through her mind, whereas her first response was to grumble, " _Fuck_ Liam," - and she almost said it, _almost_ \- before realizing that was exactly Karma's plan.

And then she found herself very sad.

"If he doesn't," She started slowly, allowing herself another small peek at the corset- or should she say, _Karma in the corset_ \- "He's even stupider than I thought."

Amy watched as the look of hesitancy slowly melted away in the form of a creeping, shy smile. She found herself smiling along with her, watching it appear, feeling her own cheeks rise in response. "If you like it," She urged again, "Get it. And if Liam _doesn't_ like it, find yourself a guy who will,"

Or girl.

Or _me_.

 _I like it._

Her friend shook her head, still smiling, "See," She murmured, "This is why I _need_ you. You're the best friend ever,"

Maybe she was, Amy thought, looking at her friend in dressed so finely, so dirtily, so cheekily, trying not to let her eyes stick. Trying not to think about that corset on the floor. Trying not to think about Liam. And definitely, totally, trying not to think of herself present- not with any third party human that wasn't confined in this dressing room. Trying to be happy that her friend would be getting what she wanted, but failing, _miserably_.

Or maybe she was the worst.


	6. Fall

**Had a bit of a hard time with this one, guys. Hopefully the ending of this chapter is alright, it almost felt a little bit rushed in the scene, but, I just couldn't quite find myself able to extend it anymore. Thoughts and critiques are both welcome and appreciated!**

* * *

"Wow, so, okay," Amy grumbled testily- her fury brimming just barely under the surface. But that was definitely enough for Karma to notice.

And Karma could admit that it was probably fair- she hadn't really thought this whole "t _hreesome_ " thing through. That being, she didn't think Amy would say _yes_ and she didn't think about how the other girl would react after being told that, basically, she wanted her to hit the road as soon as they got into that hotel room. Sure, maybe it was a little bit of an ill notion to ask her fake girlfriend to join her and her secret ( _almost_ ) lover in a wild sexual adventure, but, really, the plan was just to get her that far without... well, it was an excuse, really. And she knew it. So that Karma and Liam didn't need to really have the awkward breaking of the ice " _Let's talk about having sex_ " talk. Amy was like (in the nicest way possible, of course) a chess pawn used to gracefully escort Karma to the other side of the chess board, where Liam awaited.

If that made sense.

But she figured that when she revealed this to Amy, the other girl would be absolutely relieved. Not... _irritated,_ or whatever this was.

"I'm sorry," And Karma meant it- building up the courage for Amy to even think about getting involved in something like this must have taken a lot, and only to be shut down at the end?

Yeah, Karms. You _really_ didn't think this one through.

"I didn't think you'd really want to do it, anyway," She wasn't sure how to respond to Amy's behaviour about this.

She watched as the other girl opened, and closed her mouth a few times; struggling to get out a reply. Karma wondered just how many back rubs it would take to make up for this one.

"It's just a little bit," Amy finally seemed to have gathered her thoughts, " _harsh_ to be kicked to the curb,"

"Aims," She sighed, allowing herself to sit down on the other girl's bed- "Think about it, though; did we both really want to be losing our V Card in front of each other, with the same guy, at the same time? Talk about weird,"

Even Amy couldn't disagree; as offended as she was. That was clear by the way she nodded lightly and shrugged. It was good to see she wasn't holding onto this anger too much, "I don't even think _we_ could come back from that one," She admitted, which caused Amy to smile lightly.

"Maybe not," The other girl agreed, scuffing her socked foot against the carpet, "So what was really the plan?"

"Well, I was thinking," At this, Karma perked up. _Good_. Amy wasn't holding onto it- and she was going to lose her virginity to Liam Booker. Everything was falling into place perfectly.

Man, she'd owe Amy _so_ many back rubs.

"We meet there, obviously- and but, so it's not too evident that this was the plan all along- things need to start," She trailed off, watching Amy's expression ghost something of horror. She chose her next words carefully, "Going as they _do_ , before you make up an excuse that you have to go- and it's urgent. _Boom_ ," Karma threw her hands into the air, "It's all taken care of."

"But what do I say?" Amy asked unsurely. Karma shrugged, "I dunno. Say your mom fell down the stairs or something,"

Amy twisted her lips; clearly not too swayed by that example. But whatever- Karma was just spit balling ideas, anyways.

"'K," The girl just replied- the edge creeping back into her voice. This time, Karma ignored it; Amy was a big girl who could make her own decisions; she didn't need to hold her  
hand all the time. At least she knew the drill now. If she wanted to be pissy, that was her problem; Karma could deal with it later, when the time wasn't so dire. But still... if Amy was pissy...

"You're still... _in_ though, right?" She asked her friend tentatively.

Amy rolled her eyes, "Don't know if I'd call myself ' _in_ '," She crossed her arms over her chest, visibly upset about the situation that (Karma _did_ feel bad about) she had been dragged into, "But, I'll go play my part,"

"Oh, Aims," She scoffed- why was she so upset? She had nothing to be upset about, not really. "Don't say it like that,"

"Well, what am I?" The girl responded sharply, "Chopped liver?"

"Do you seriously _want_ to have a threesome?" Karma couldn't catch the bark in her voice this time, but her patience was waning.

" _No_ ," The irritation rose an octave.

"Well," Karma threw up her hands, "That's how you're making it seem. What's the big deal?"

Lately, she couldn't figure Amy out. And by lately- that meant very, _very_ recently. Starting just before the croqembouche incident, it seemed like her reasonings, and, even moreso- her _emotions_ \- were just erratic. The mood swings were becoming more frequent, little things would tick her off, and Karma couldn't quite put her finger on it. Maybe she was just stressed about the whole lesbian ordeal- and, her guilt for that _was there_ , don't get her wrong. She dragged her best friend into it. But she was just trying to work with it- hell, she was trying to _fix_ it.  
But, the little psychologist in her had a theory. And the more she thought about it, the more sense it seemed to make.

At first, she'd thought that Amy had been jealous of her, for snagging someone like Liam Booker. Amy had always had trouble talking to boys, so, maybe seeing Karma's love life start blooming, she realized how... what was the nice way to put it... well, how _behind_ she may be in the whole _boys_ thing. Let's be honest; Amy could hardly talk to a member of the opposite sex without either stumbling over her words, or being a complete condescending dick. But hey, at least she was working on it.

So Karma had cut her some slack. She understood, she tried to help her out, but nothing was clicking.

But then, she started noticing the way she bristled around Liam. Even the mention of his name seemed like enough to completely send her off the deep-end sometimes. The clenched jaw, the lowered eyes, the hostility. And that's when it hit her; she wasn't jealous of Karma. She was jealous of _Liam_.

She couldn't really blame her for that one, either. They had, obviously, been best friends since kindergarten; and for so many years they were each other's only real close personal bond. They shared something special, and Karma knew it. She supposed it would be normal for them to grow so accustomed to one another, but then, when someone else entered the scene that caused Karma's attention to shift from Amy to Liam- _then_ came the jealousy. A lot like a kid and their favourite toy; Amy didn't know how to share.

And, she felt a little bit bad for psychoanalyzing, but, she couldn't help but think about her dad sometimes. Maybe she was afraid that Karma was leaving her. Of course, she had no concrete proof that this could be the deep lying root of the problem, but she wondered about it. And that made her feel even worse. But, what could she really do about it? She didn't want to smite Amy by asking her about it; she was instead hoping that Amy would gradually climatize to these new changes.

And Amy seemed to mull the question over in her head; run over a few times, swish it around in that brain of hers- rinse and repeat. What _was_ the big deal? She doubted even Amy knew.

"I don't know," She groaned. Karma couldn't help but feel a little bit smug that she knew her best friend well enough to know that she was just arguing for the sake of it, "I just feel so," Amy made a few vague, pedalling hand motions, " _used._ "

Karma deflated, the weight of her indiscretion settling on her shoulders again, "Don't," She urged, starting to feel a little bit exasperated, "I didn't mean it anything like that, and you know it,"

"I know you didn't," Amy mumbled, the anger and irritation that was flaring in her a few moments ago now completely vanished, only to be replaced by something much more... tired. "But it's like, you still thought of it anyway,"

"Aims-"

"Like you still just figured that I'd be totally fine with all of this- like, ' _Oh, it's just Amy!_ ',"

Aw, fuck, here we go.

"Aims, I didn't-"

"No, but Karma," The frustration was back again, as Amy pointed a finger accusingly at her best friend sitting on her bed. Karma felt the heat in her cheeks rise, "You did."

"You know I didn't mean anything by it," She insisted- Amy was just being difficult. Just trying to guilt trip her- which, she didn't need, because she already felt shitty enough about it. Sure, maybe it wasn't a great idea; she didn't really count on Amy actually going through with it.

"But you still," Amy started, before closing her eyes, her hands curling into fists at her sides. She was clearly trying to lose her temper entirely- which Karma still didn't fucking understand because Amy was just making a bigger deal out of this than she needed to be. "Took no consideration-"

"Then don't come, Aims," Karma was putting an end to the shaming that was about to take place before it even started. The other girl appeared taken aback that her friend had  
cut her off so abruptly; her mouth hanging open slightly, but there was definitely, for sure, unmistakably the fury sparking behind her eyes that she hadn't allowed her to finish. Amy was like that. She hated being talked over- but sometimes, Karma had to do it, for the good of both of them, before any real claws could get out.

Huffing, she pushed herself to her feet, "I gotta go. Don't come if you don't want to, but I'll be there," She grumbled, grabbing one of Amy's mother's trenchcoats from the floor, and then brushing past the taller girl towards her bedroom door.

She was just glad that Amy didn't come storming out after her. Five more minutes in there and Karma predicted it could have been a real shit show.

She just... She had to take everything so _personally_.

Karma took the stairs two at a time, putting as much distance between herself and her friend as she could; hopefully, Amy could think it over and calm down a little bit.  
Entirely flustered, Karma yanked open the front door; welcoming the walk home ahead of her.

* * *

Still standing with her hands crossed her chest; Amy glared at the electric alarm clock on her night stand, and it was telling her that Karma had left ten minutes ago, already.

And she hadn't stopped stewing since.

So, she was only being dragged into this utterly ridiculous threesome proposal so that she could actually say ' _hasta la vista!_ ' and leave Karma with Liam? That had been the girl's intentions since the start? A... pawn?

And no, it wasn't like Amy had actually been looking forward to what sounded like the absolute worst evening of her life- but the fact that Karma had the audacity to use her like that? And, it just made it so much more frustrating that the other girl couldn't even see what she was doing when she was doing it. Her judgement was totally clouded by her own selfishness.

And for what- a good lay? To lose the V Card to her gross new _'boyfriend'_?

She really should've seen it coming.

And she should've expected her to run away when faced with the allegation. But, Amy had allowed her to; if she'd stuck around any longer, things could've gotten nasty.  
Like the fact that Karma just couldn't own up to anything. And whenever things got serious, whenever anyone pointed anything out to her that she'd done wrong- any social injustice- she was a runner. Hell, she might as well stuck her fingers in her ears and started screaming with the way she ignored it. It was one of her friend's less fine traits.  
The inability to cope with her own actions. Yet, she still- after all these years- remained just as reckless. She never learned!

No matter how many times Amy could complain about a less than fair treatment, Karma just couldn't help but repeat her behavior. She had very little regard for how anything she did could affect others- most specifically, Amy, who was so often on the receiving end of the shit stick.

Groaning, she (just barely) resisted the urge to kick the foot of her bed in all of her anger.

There went her and Shane's little theory.

Of course Karma wasn't interested; she'd been so gullible and desperate to hear what she wanted to that she'd completely overlooked all other outcomes.

"Stupid," She scolded herself, scanning the room for some kind of distraction.

Stupid Amy. Stupid Karma. Stupid, fucking, pig Liam Booker.

She sure was craving something chocolatey. Maybe that would soothe her agitated nerves. Turning, she threw open her door with an unnecessary force, stomping down the stairs, feeling a pout pulling at her lips as the anger faded away into the sulky kid phase.  
As she entered the kitchen, she found Lauren; looking flushed, post workout as she poured herself a glass of almond milk. The other blonde looked up as Amy entered; quickly regarding her demeanour, and obviously piecing together the dramatic exit made a few minutes ago.

"What," A self-satisfied smirk played at the corner of her lips, "You and your girlfriend have a hissy fit?"

 _If only you knew,_ she muttered internally. "Something like that," Was all she returned.

"Trouble in paradise," Lauren played back coolly, lifting the glass to her mouth as Amy swept past her for the cupboards. "Must be hard."

"She's so _difficult_ ," Amy said stiffly- unsure why she was even beginning to think of venting to her step-sister nemesis. Surely it'd just be thrown back at her, sooner or later.

Lauren rolled her eyes, "Okay, don't care,"

Amy heard the fridge open and close again as the milk was returned- she allowed herself to peek over her shoulder at the girl; she was still itching to complain about it to _someone_. And while she had half expected Lauren to lap up any sign of trouble, she found herself glad that she was indifferent instead.

Lauren paused as she made her exit, throwing one last smug look over her shoulder, "You sure know how to pick em'!"

 _I sure do_ , she agreed bitterly, pulling a box of chocolate covered granola bars from it's depths. _I'll turn my best friend into my fake girlfriend so that I can use her to get herself a real boyfriend! Oh, and to top it all off, it's a great time to start wondering about all of those feelings of yours!_

"Stupid," She repeated again, carelessly tearing open the wrapper.

She had to find some way to fix this.

Impulsively, Amy opened up her phone, searched for Shane's contact, and hit dial. Holding it up to her ear, she munched on her granola bar, once again reflecting on the conversation she and Karma had not thirty minutes ago. It seemed completely unreal.

The phone rang.

Wait until she told Shane. She could just imagine his response- he'd be optimistic about it, she was sure, but she could imagine the long stereo silence that stretched between the phones as he realized just how _shitty_ that was. But he'd come up with something.

It rang again.

 _Just take off,_ what the hell?

And again.

She'd been so sure... It had seemed so clear; all of Karma's dropped little hints, or crawled kisses, or looks that lasted a little bit too long... she just didn't know how to talk about it, right? Karma just wanted to be normal, right? That's why she couldn't talk about it?  
She wrung her hands together.

The phone rang on the other end of the line for a fourth time.

Where was Shane?

She'd still have to show up, even if just to spite the other girl. Show her that she was _fucking game_. Amy wouldn't be cast aside, not like this- that was just way too far.  
The boy's chipper voicemail came up, and she sighed; out of all the times he couldn't answer his phone...

"Shane," She said urgently into the mic after the sound of the beep, "You'll never believe what Karma just told me. She wants me to- to just- _hit the road_ before anything can get too serious. Can you believe that? This isn't... I don't think this is for the reason we thought it was, and I don't know what to do- I really don't want to go to this thing but I don't want to back out now either,"

It clicked.

Like the missing piece in a jigsaw puzzle, turning gears, or pressing a big giant button that specifically read "DO NOT PRESS". Clear as day. Hallelujah.

"But that's okay," She stuttered, feeling a devious grin tug at the corner of her lips, "Because I actually think I just realized how to do this. I'll call you later,"

Hanging up the phone, Amy jumped to her feet, making a complete beeline for her bedroom.

* * *

Amy could be a bitch.

She had it in her, deep down- she hardly had to chance, but she knew that when she was feeling particularly crossed (as she was right now) she could be a vindictive, cold, ruthless bitch.

There was a little bit of guilt in her that she'd be taking it out on Karma, but, she had put up with enough of the red-headed girl's BS in her life, and sometimes, that bitch came out. Whether it be in the form of a sharp retort or a knife in just the right vulnerable spot, or- in this case- maybe the worst of all; it was dressing in the sexiest lingerie she could get her hands on and having the notion in her mind:  
She'd make her presence there _known_. Whether it was to Liam or Karma, she didn't really care; she'd just make her presence wanted there.

It was perfectly hostile, and Amy knew it. A quiet, two middle fingers held up kind of revenge.

And, maybe it was a step too far. After all, she didn't really have a right to be so upset at Karma; it's not like the other girl was aware of the extent of Amy's feelings- but, she was pretty damn mad about being expected to be nothing more than a pretty object to nestle Karma closer to the boy. So, she compensated the anger for that as being more reasonable than it was, maybe, and if anyone asked that was what she could tell them. Instead of the whole, " _I'm into you and you're not into me, wah,_ " Crap.

It was selfish.

It was petty.

But Amy didn't care. For once, she would be the most selfish, petty one of them all and Karma could feel the kick in the balls.

She had stared at herself for a long time in the mirror- regarding the way the bralette cupped her breasts, pushing them up- with it's teasing straps allowing a peek-a-boo. Her toned stomach (all thanks to a wonderfully functioning metabolism), and nothing more than a hand-picked, black pair of panties.

The worst part about it all, however, was that as she looked at herself, swallowing up every last movement of her abdomen, arm, looking for all of her best angles, she had to resign and realize she was hoping Karma would see it and somehow, again, _rethink_. _Want_ her.

And why?

The icing on the cake:

Before the argument, there had been a different plan. Karma wanted to have a test-run; she'd giddily dug through Farrah's closet (with Amy's permission) until she came across some old, forgotten about, reporter trench coats. It was part of the ambience thing again- something the other girl was so inexplicably keen on. And, like trying on a prom dress- Karma had rushed to put on her newly bought attire for the evening- to Amy's slight nausea.

She felt uncomfortable with the idea of dressing sexy for Liam.

She still felt uncomfortable with the idea of _Karma_ dressing sexy for Liam.

And, while she waited, a mess of nerves and excitement- with Shane's voice echoing around her head, Amy couldn't help but wonder, again, if this really was that big bicurious bat signal in the sky.

Conceding to the idea that she was the lamb, and Karma was the slaughter, Amy shrugged on the trench coat left for her, and waited some more.

When the bathroom door opened, and Karma stepped out in a similar style coat- they grinned sheepishly at one another. Amy felt her stomach lurch uneasily.

"Are we ready?" Karma had asked, her voice bubbling with excitement. She was still having trouble's wrapping her head around just how her friend could be so nonchalant about this all.

But she held Karma's gaze, fearful that if she dropped it- one of them would back down. And her heart was hammering in her chest and Karma was staring at her, searching her, still grinning- but it was shrinking, as the moment dragged out and neither of them knew how to proceed.

"Yeah," Amy finally responded, just now realizing she never did.

Karma's eyebrows knit together for a brief moment- as if she too, only now noticed the other girl hadn't answered her question.

And then she pulled in a deep breath, recovering herself and smiling again, "Okay,"

Amy wondered if the other girl had purposefully waited for Amy to answer before continuing. She had just been so caught up in the moment that she'd... _forgot_.

"So we..." Karma cleared her throat, taking a tentative step forward. She noticed the other girl's eyes glance past her, at the door- double checking that it was both closed and locked. (As if Amy would forget that. This was the last thing Lauren or her mother needed to walk into.)  
Amy felt her breath hitch in the back of her throat; watching Karma's lips as they gravitated closer to her own. She remembered the way they felt against her own- the way she moved, the flow of the kiss they'd shared in the gym. The hunger of the kiss she'd dreamed about. The innocent bewilderment of the kiss in the courtyard. Her stomach stirred as she thought about what this one would be like.

She saw Karma's chest rise as she took another deep breath, "So I'm thinking," She said, "I'll be here," Gently placing her hands on Amy's shoulders, she guided her back a few, awful steps- distancing them. "You'll be here. Liam will be," She held out a hand, making a generalized circle motion, "Over here-ish."

"That has good threeway feng shui," Amy remarked, trying to ease the situation that was happening not only physically- in the present- but what was happening in her head.

And her stomach.

"No giggling," Karma instructed, although she didn't try to hide the smile playing on her face, "We need to be _convincing_ ,"

Amy nodded fervently.

"So first, I'll undo your coat," The redhead reached out, grabbing the strings in her hands abruptly. Amy started slightly under the movement, but the other girl didn't notice, "All sexy-like,"

 _Oh, good God, Amy, what have you done?_

A half amused half terrified sound escaped her before she could catch it. Karma resumed dutifully pulling the strings- she was so cute. Biting her lip. Excited. Oblivious. What was even happening?

Karma slid her hands under the coat, pushing it off by the shoulders- to reveal... the very same pyjamas Amy was wearing only a few minutes ago. She furrowed her brow, mouth opening and closing again, wordless.

Panicked, Amy blurted, "This seemed authentic,"

The other girl gaped at her incredulously for a few moments, still looking her over in... well, Amy didn't really know.  
"Whatever," Karma finally returned, a hint of edge in her tone. Amy didn't realize the lack of... _ambience_ would be quite so... _frustrating_ for the other girl. "Now you do mine,"

Registering that demand took a few seconds.

She wanted Amy to undress her.

Nothing dirty.

Karma had no idea.

What? There were no ideas.

Coming to, Amy nodded again, resisted the urge to wipe her clammy hands against her boxer shorts- and reached for the strings of the other girl's coat. As she began undoing her, it felt like eternity was stretching out before them; the tension rising in the air as a knot formed in the strings, and Amy picked at it for a moment, pretending nothing was askew. As the knot came undone, and the grand reveal was around the corner, she raised her eyebrows at the other girl in anticipation- as though she hadn't already seen the lingerie.

But that was alright. Karma's moment of snappiness seemed to have ebbed away somewhere in the process. There was a heavy look in Karma's green eyes that was making something in Amy's legs a little bit weak.

Inhaling sharply, the coat finally dropped to the ground; leaving Amy up close and personal, once again to... the whole...  
Cleavage.

But taking in the whole thing again was nice.

Karma seemed to appreciate it, with that knowing little smirk on her face as she absently fixed the hair that had gotten disarrayed in the removal. And then, she leaned forward,

"Mm," She remarked, clearly trying to break the ice, "You smell yummy,"

The choice of word sent her heart fluttering, "I do?"

"Mmhmm," Karma nodded, straightening out a lock of Amy's hair, "Chinese food?"

At this, her heart instead did a little somersault of embarrassment. She felt a heat creeping up her cheeks, "Oh," She exhaled the word, "I had mu shue pork for lunch,"

Karma giggled with her- of course, it was _so_ Amy. But that eased the embarrassment a little bit, that at least her best friend hadn't forgotten who she was- which was a mu shue pork eating kind of gal.

The redhead absently stroked Amy's hair a few times- and, in the silence- she was finding it harder and harder not to look at those lips again.

"Well," She tried to sound like she wasn't squirming- she was pretty sure she failed, "I guess there's nothing left to do but-"

"Kiss?" Karma finished for her- eyes instantaneously clouding over as they glanced from Amy's eyes and down to her lips.

Something in the pit of her stomach definitely flipped.

 _Yes. Yes kiss me._

Thrown by the directness, Amy nodded- and watched in a sort of awe as- unbelievably- Karma began to close the space between them.

Was she seriously going to do it?

Was it really this easy?

But she kept coming. So far that Amy relented to the idea that yes, this was happening. She just hoped nobody would pinch her.

Transfixed by her lips, Amy opened her mouth slightly, anxious for Karma to close the space entirely- and she did, as her hand came up out of seemingly nowhere- and she planted one against the back of her hand.

Amy reeled for a moment- the fog of lust that had been drifting it's way into her mind instead replaced with confusion.

Karma pulled back- ignoring the way Amy's eyebrows were near touching, "I can't believe I'm going to lose my V Card,"

And, well, it was all downhill from there.

So Amy would be a bitch. She'd show up in even less clothing than Karma, she'd try her damndest to be as confident as Catwoman and she'd... well, she'd see where it got her.  
She was almost certain she'd regret it. But maybe this would show Karma that Amy was more than some idle by girl- she was... worth it.

Wasn't she worth it?

Pulling her lip between her teeth, Amy observed herself in the mirror for a few more moments, exhaling heavily as the rage fuelled vengeance poured out of her, only to be replaced by some kind of self-pitying melancholy.

* * *

Saying she had stooped to that level- whatever _that level_ was, which, she supposed, must be _this_ \- it sounded terrible, but she accepted it, anyway. Sure, it was rude. Of course the whole thing was rude, and terrible, and just altogether strange.

She and Karma both accumulated at the hotel before Liam had; the redhead was standing in the lobby awkwardly- sporting that ridiculous trenchcoat (So was Amy, to be fair). Her eyes flickered upwards as Amy approached- and she felt her heart skitter again. She wanted to turn around and exit again, run, go home- hide under her blankets. This was it; she was here; and she was all too aware of what was under the other girls coat- all too aware that Karma, in turn, had no idea what was under hers. That filled her with a sense of... anxiety, upon what her response would be. Anger? Surprise?

However, there was a tension that stretched through the air- a very obvious elephant standing, snugly, between the two of them.

"Are you still mad at me?" Karma asked, not sounding entirely heartfelt.

A twang went through Amy's chest, provoking her again. Shrugging, she answered icily, "No,"

Karma narrowed her eyes at her, only glancing back at her from the corner of her eye, "If you want to start another argumen-"

"I don't," Fuck feeling guilty about pulling the bitch-move.

Something flashed across the other girls face, as she straightened up, as though she was trying to look Amy directly in the eye, "I-"

"Sorry I'm late," Liam interrupted, as he came fumbling through the lobby, struggling with the key in his hand, "I got stuck in traffic,"

Karma's anger melted into an award winning grin as she greeted him, "It's okay!"

Amy resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Here he was, unimpressively grinning as his eyes darted between the two of them, and he hastily went to unlock the door. He was disgustingly excited. Over his bowed head, she looked at Karma- who noticed instantly- her smile wavering.

Karma was nervous. Shaking in her faux-leather boots.

Amy?

The irritation she felt was somehow keeping her cool- collected. She was certain Karma could notice her lack of nerves, too- by the way her eyes were scanning her unsurely, softening.

She hoped Karma would like it.

The lock clicked as Liam twisted the key, pushing it open afterwards; it was... definitely nice, for a motel room. Like- _way too_ nice. Did Liam call in advance, and sucker his rich daddy into buying a bunch of new shit? Seriously- why is this so nice?

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she allowed Karma in after the boy, and then followed behind; grabbing the door and shutting it behind her.

Shit.

Nerves?

Here they are.

Suddenly being shut in this- why is it so sexy-? motel room felt abruptly claustrophobic. Amy half expected to turn around and see the two going at it already. Karma really, really wanted to jump his bones. Enough to drag Amy into a 'threesome' (only to be tossed aside again, but, anyways). She found it hard to believe that her friend would abstain as soon as that door was closed.

Taking a deep breath- preparing herself, she turned on heel- relieved to find the two of them sitting on the bed- looking entirely... lost.

They were both quiet, eyes occasionally glancing up at her- only to peel away, and look anywhere else, aside from each other. She saw Liam's Adam's apple bob nervously as he loosened the collar of his shirt. At least he'd dressed somewhat nice- maybe he and Karma both shared that same flair for ambience.

Shifting a little on spot, she managed to build up the courage to make her way to the bed; taking a seat on the unoccupied side of Liam. Closest to the door- just in case she did have to run out of here at last second and yell ' _chicken!_ '

As she sat, Liam tried to smile; in what she assumed he must have hoped looked friendly and polite- but it was ruined by the absolutely terrified look that filled his eyes as he quickly averted meeting her gaze. Not that Amy was complaining; she didn't really want to look at him, either, and wonder what the hell was supposed to happen next. She'd relied on Karma to be the one taking charge; as she usually did. And if not her, Liam.

But both of them continued to sit there, as if they were eleven years old and stuck in a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven.

"So," He finally croaked, staring forwards, "Thanks for coming,"

Amy cast a sideways glance at her friend, who had her eyes furrowed together, "Thanks for... having us?"

Karma returned a more desperate look in Amy's direction. Startled at being put on the spot for input, she agreed, "Yeah. This hotel room is _something_ ,"

Liam appeared as though he had been physically struck; dumbfounded. The sneaking suspicion that he had prepared earlier quietly confirmed itself in Amy's mind.

"Is that ice over there?" Karma asked, springing to her feet, "I'm going to go break it,"

She sauntered over to the dresser, a grin that was equally hopeful as it was hopeless playing across her face- as her attempt to diffuse the tension failed. Amy wondered if the remark had simply just gone over Liam's head.

"How about some music?" He asked, hopping onto his feet just as suddenly as Karma had. But, the redhead nodded enthusiastically at the idea; her eyes glancing towards Amy again, and then back at Liam.

The boy fumbled to remove his iPod from the pocket of his pants, and then place them in the iHome that was just- very conveniently- sitting on the end table. His fingers were visibly shaking as he searched for some song to set the mood.

Ambience?

Maybe Mr. Macho wasn't as renowned as she had previously thought.

His shaking fingers selected Mr. Saxobeat- of all songs- and the saxophone was blaring out of the speakers- causing Amy to cringe and Karma jumped at the sudden noise.

"Sorry," He apologized, frantically scrambling to change the song, and lower the volume.

It wasn't off to a great start.

He found a song, much softer- although Amy had never heard it before, it was an obvious improvement. But, after that ordeal had been taken care of; they instantly slipped back to square one; with all of them awkwardly taking quick peeks at one another, and then roving their eyes around every other inch of the room. It was painstaking- the unease crawling up Amy's spine as the verbal silence stretched out between them.

"Fuck it," She finally groaned; after it was clear that no progress would be made between the two 'keen' on the threesome. "Is this a threesome or a staring contest?"

Standing up, she took in the reaction of the other two for a moment; which were both very similar. Liam's lips parted a little, and his eyes bulged out of his head. Karma's lips parted a little bit, as she watched with an expression closer to intrigue than fear. Her reaction solely was what gave Amy that last little prompt to move her hands to the tie of her jacket, and undo it. She shrugged it off- revealing the attire she'd decided on earlier that evening.

Amy didn't bother looking at Liam as she dropped it.

Karma's pointed look remained fixed on Amy- she saw her chest expand in a moment of quiet shock, as her head slowly lowered, but her eyes didn't move from... well, it wasn't Amy's eyes- she couldn't quite pinpoint where Karma was so focused.

Until she snapped out of it- a spark igniting behind her eyes as she must have noticed she'd been staring. Amy really, really, didn't mind. She'd never even begun to imagine the sensation she'd feel of having Karma look at her like that; the darkness clouding her eyes for a few, delicious moments- Amy'd confidence swelled under it.

And then she decided she ought to look at Liam, though she really didn't want to.

He looked like a boy shamed; it was flattering, actually. His cheeks had a bit of colour and he looked as if he'd just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

And then, she glanced back up at Karma who... had the exact same look on her face.

Amy felt the heat rise in her own cheeks at invoking such a response out of them. Although, at this moment;  
(at all moments)  
she only cared about one of them.

Holding out her hand in Karma's direction, she searched the features of her face again- lapping it up. Karma kind of had that same look she got before she was about to stress cry.

Amy knew that would be a mess.

She offered the girl a gentle smile- the anger that she had felt since their argument was forgiven, forgotten, and buried.

Hesitantly, Karma placed her hand in Amy's own, and she turned again, seeing Liam observe the gesture, and then swallow visibly- again- heading towards the bed.

She supposed it was up to them.

Guiding Karma towards her, Amy grinned at her affectionately again; taken by the way Karma's eyes flitted across her face, searching. Amy carefully moved her hands towards the knot in the girl's jacket; raising her brows slightly to show the other girl what she was doing. In response, the girl lifted her own brows in a wordless go-ahead. Thankfully- the reveal this time was quicker than it had been in practice. The knot came undone without hassle, and Karma inhaled sharply as it fell around her ankles- that terrified expression still on her face.

Who would've thought _she_ would be the one keeping it together?

Fixing the girl's hair the same way that Karma had done to her in their practice, Amy could practically see the overthinking that she had suffered from so often whirling around in Karma's head, in the form of a little crease between her eyebrows, and the slightest pout of her lips.

"Relax," She whispered, tucking a lock behind her ears. Karma's gaze softened a little, and she nodded- not appearing entirely convinced.

Amy felt her eyes wander down her friend's face, piquing interest at her lips. She felt Karma's do the same; Amy had started to become quite familiar with those looks.

Reassuringly, her fingers reached out and grazed Karma's- and they twitched at the touch. The other girl was still nodding a bit to herself, still thinking too much.

Amy pried her eyes away from the girl's lips, and Karma took note- her own eyes frantically searching Amy's, for any kind of guidance. She was flailing. Slipping.

Slowly- without breaking their gaze- Amy began to lean forward. Anxious, the girl's green eyes skipped from Amy's own to her mouth, and back again, several times. She marvelled in it; something whirled in the base of her gut- and it wasn't until her face was only centimetres to Karma's before she allowed herself to look down again. Karma's mouth was already parted slightly- her fingers clammy against Amy's own, where she gently, subtly, entwined their fingers together.  
Karma pulled in the faintest breath- gaze dropping one final time before she met Amy's- it was nervous, closed mouth. But Amy didn't mind, as the swirling in her gut dropped with surprise to something farther down.

She held their lips together for a moment, before pacing onwards slowly, gently grabbing Karma's upper lip between her own. The girl pulled with her, allowing herself (to Amy's slight surprise) to be guided by the movement of her lips. Gradually, she deepened the kiss, feeling the other girl begin to relax.

It was dizzying to some degree, having Karma entirely following her lead.

Smiling, Amy delved into another, gentle kiss; absorbing the moment entirely- before a rustle on the bed reminded her of the third party's presence.

Pulling away, she watched the expression of the other girl's face shift; she kept her eyes closed, and her mouth still open. Amy felt a small tingle between her legs, and she shifted, a litte bit uncomfortable with the fact that- hell, if Liam wasn't there, she would probably go at it again.

"Whoa," Karma whispered, finally opening awe-struck eyes.

"I know," She felt her gaze wandering down towards her lips again, unable to contain her glee about the positivity of her reaction.

An arm wrapped her around her waist; Liam pulling her against his body and pressing his lips against hers. A small moment of shock surged through her, before remembering that this was part of the program, too. It wasn't just her and Karma.

His tongue darted out, and she instinctively opened her mouth into the kiss; everything about him was so much rougher; his stubble scratched against her face and his tongue probed and jabbed and lacked the finesse that made every kiss with Karma so wonderful. Part of her brain screamed at her to pull away, but if kissing Liam somehow opened up more doors for kissing Karma, then she would deal with it.

She rolled herself into the kiss, allowing her body to react at it's own accord (awkwardly aware of the unmistakable boner pressing through his pants and against her hip), until the moment of freedom when he broke away, huffing as if he'd just ran a marathon.

But, Amy found it relieving that, in the brief moment they shared eye contact, they appeared to be having the exact same thought; _what the hell am I doing?_

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she glanced back over at Karma; immediately confused at the crumpled interpretation on her face. Her eyes darted between Amy, to Liam, and then back at Amy again; before hastily bending down to pick up the discarded coat from the floor, and whispering, "I can't do this,"

There was no time to respond, thanks to the speed at which the redhead departed from the room- shutting the door almost with an emphasized softness behind her.  
Wordless, Amy turned towards the boy, who, in turn, stared right back at her; mouth slightly agape.

"Uhm," He croaked, running a hand down his face, "So we aren't-?"

"No," Amy snapped, picking her own coat off of the floor, "Excuse me, I need to go check on my girlfriend,"

He nodded fervantly, slowly lowering himself back onto the motel bed. Fumbling with her shoes, Amy left the room with a slightly heavier hand on the door; staring off in the direction her friend had left.

But there was no sign of her.


End file.
